Dear Bro Fuston,
I like your column and that’s why I have not given any answer to a guy who recently told me marry him I wanted to inquire from you before given him an answer.
I am an under graduate in University of Port Harcourt. I am 25 years and the guy in question is 39 years, but surprisingly he was married and lived with a woman for four years before they amicably separated.
I have asked him why they separated after an elaborate wedding and also living as husband and wife for four years, but he only told me that something about the Lady showed she was engaging in infidelity and they quietly called it off since they can’t agree.
I have been dating him for six months now and just last month he gave me a diamond ring and begged me to marry him.
I did not take the ring, I told him I will give him an answer after one month.
The way he sees no big deal in calling of marriage when it looks difficult for him.
His simple approach to marriage is my main headache, what do you advise me to do?
Linsday in UNIPORT
Marriage is a serious business and must be approached as such. It is an institution that keeps two people together for life no matter the odds.
In the institution of marriage there is no graduation, therefore husbands and wives must continue in the learning process, hence challenges and difficulties must come into the marriage.
Your friend must be made to internalize the fact that marriage is not like a piece of rag that can be dropped at any time, marriage is not something that can be easily called off when it appears hazy and difficult.
Marriage is nurtured, treasured and pampered and anyone going into it must have this understanding.
If you must accept this proposal, then you two must see a counselor, if there is change in the positive direction, then you can take the diamond ring, but if he continues to see marriage, separation or divorce as no big deal, please run to avert heart break in the future.
Thanking you for finding time to write in, take care.