Dear Bro Fuston,
Many people at different times have told me to wait upon the Lord over my childlessness, and I think that I have religiously done that.
My marriage will be 14 years by December this year and since these years, I have been waiting for the grace of God to smile at me, but instead things seem to turn from bad to worse.
I am still being told to wait, when the man I know to be my husband has never come close to me, not to talk of sleeping on the same bed with me for an upward of five years.
Against my husband’s wish I brought my sister’s third daughter to live with us. This my niece completed her primary six in my house and I was single handedly training her in the secondary school until my husband got her pregnant while she was in SS2.
I knew about the pregnancy when it was over four months old.
The only help my own blood sister rendered in this matter was to insist that my husband must marry her daughter who was only 17 years then.
I did all I could to stop the marriage, but the man was willing to bring the little girl into the house as a second wife.
It was hell sharing my husband with my niece. The girl that was serving me all of a sudden became a tigress and was asserting authority, giving me orders and her husband supported her.
The worst being that I have been sent out of the house I contributed financially and suffered to build with my husband at the behest of this girl.
I no longer have access to the things we jointly owned. Their kids cannot take anything from me because I have been branded a witch.
My elder sister who I helped to lift out of poverty by undertaking to train her daughter now calls me names and treats me with disdain.
I have tried to find out from God why I am so unfortunate in life.
At 43, I have no child and my marriage is in tatters, all I laboured to acquire with my husband, a girl I picked from a poverty-infested home edged me out and now she is the one enjoying those things, all because I have no child I could call my own.
I have thought of many things regarding this issue but I can’t arrive at anything.
Has God forsaken me? Why is it that God cannot do anything about my condition to prove to those that mock His name by calling me a barren woman and witch?
What do I do to regain peace of mind? What do I do to regain what is rightfully mine? With the way things are going, I don’t think this girl my husband is living with will ever allow any of her children take care of me when I can no longer win bread for myself.
I need your advice on what to do before it will be too late for me.
I will indeed appreciate it, if you can tell me how best to go about this.
Thank you for giving a listening ear to my troubled cry.
Fumi in Owerri.
Your situation is a pathetic one. You must remain still and watch God grant you the type of peace that surpasses all human understanding.
Be it known to you that God never forsakes His own, and I assure you that He will not forsake you in your troubled time.
The Bible says that they that trust in God are like Mount Zion and they shall not be moved. Don’t make the mistake of not trusting in God.
Yes, your husband, your sister and your niece from what you narrated in your letter betrayed you. You have every right to be angry, but be careful not to take it far. Human beings no matter how closely related could disappoint. So I advise that you put this disappointment behind you and do something useful for yourself.
If you continue to dwell on this betrayal, you may end up being the actual negative description given to you.
You will do yourself a lot of good by adopting a child, this will help you kill the fear of who takes care of you in your old age.
You can still make move to reconcile with your husband, you are still his legitimate wife. The other woman is an intruder.
There is nothing beyond the powers of God. Staying away from your husband will not help the situation. You can swallow your pride and shame and move back to your husband. That is the only way God will bless your with a baby.
Prayer does wonders and God I am sure still answers prayers. Call upon Him in this your time of persecution, hand over this betrayal to Him and I bet you, your situation will not remain the same.
Recently, a woman gave birth to a twin at the age of 52 years, such can happen to anybody that put trust solely on God.
Communication is a very vital tool in any relationship. If you must regain inner peace and reclaim what is rightfully yours, you must open up channels of communication with your husband. Keep pushing. God’s grace is sufficient for you.