Dear Bro Fuston,


I am a 32-year-old virgin. It is not because I don’t have the urge for sex or because I don’t see beautiful girls around but because I cannot boldly talk to a girl to be my friend.

Sometimes when I sleep I would have wet dreams and I have come to realize that this is because I have not been having sex.

Ladies come around me and sometimes stop coming to me because they feel I am a boring person, my fellow guys talk about their sexual escapades but I cannot talk of any.

I have tried severally to woo girls and never succeeded. There are times I will follow girls I admire from behind to where they are going without letting them know that I am following them.


I followed one on a particular day from Rupokwu in Port Harcourt to Liberation Stadium without the courage to stop her and tell her that I want us to be friends. This loss of courage and shyness to talk to a girl is now giving me concern. I will always think they will snub or slap me if I mention friendship to them.

Is it not a pity that at my age I have not had sex when boys I know when they were born parade beautiful girls as their friends and lovers.

Please assist me with the tips to overcome this problem in my life.

Joe in Port Harcourt.

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Dear Joe,

I am surprised that you want to have a girl-friend for the wrong motive, which is merely to have sex.

I don’t have any tip to assist you get a sexual partner, but if it is what to do to overcome your loss of courage before ladies so that they won’t look at you as a boring person, then all I need to tell you is that you are the only one stopping yourself from being courageous.

In choosing your friends you can only use kind words or words that reflect the beauty of Christ. Cleanse your mind from going to choose a sex partner, only approach people with the mindset of making them your friends.

It is a good thing that you are still a virgin at 32 but I am convinced that you did not make a conscious effort to achieve this. You would have had illicit sex if the opportunity had presented itself. My dear, this is wrong.

You can only conquer the spirit of shyness by telling yourself that you can do it and you begin to do it.

Lasting relationship or friendship is borne out of a pure heart.

There is nothing wrong in getting closer to anybody, man or woman, tell the person you like him or her and would want you two to be friends. Stop following women about lustfully and invest the time you use in following them into a more beneficial venture.

Be courageous.

Best of the weekend.