Dear Bro Fuston,
I am in dire need of your help. What I am going through at present I do not wish for my greatest enemy and I do not know why I was visited with such a problem.
I got married at a very young age to a man I courted for two years and we have been married for an unbroken 12 years.
I have been accused of being barren when in actual fact and from every scientific proof the barren person is my dear husband.
A huge, intelligent, handsome and caring husband, doctors said he was born emasculated and can never procreate.
Our family doctor secretly called me and told me this, but told him that he is suffering from low sperm count and that’s the much my husband knows about his problem.
Now, I am 35 years of age and he is 43 years. The whole burden of becoming pregnant and childless is on me, the bulk of it coming from his family members.
My husband’s first sister had once arranged marriage between him and another girl whom she brought from their village.
His erection is poor and what he gives out is like ordinary water. I had noticed this even at the period of our courtship but because he satisfies me through other ways, coupled with his love for me, I decided to marry him not knowing that his sperm that is like water is a major problem.
We had made serious attempts to adopt a child, but the news got to his father who frowned at it and my man being one that cannot go against his father’s wish dropped the idea.
It is over three years since we made that move yet nothing has changed, I am still accused of bewitching my husband and it has not been easy with me.
There is no prayer house that I have not visited in Port Harcourt, there are some that my spirit rejected immediately I stepped in there but for want of the fruit of the womb, I stayed back and obeyed all their rules as I was directed to do.
The burden is heavier than me, I cannot continue crying on a daily basis, I have been mocked and abused enough.
There is a sign of light coming to me, but my worry and the reason for this letter is to know from you the likely place the said light will lead me to.
Someone introduced a medical doctor that came in from America to us, the doctor after every examination confirmed what the doctors here earlier said, but this time he told me that he will place my husband on what he called placebo, that is a harmless substance that will psychologically give him the feeling of one taking drugs for his ailment. That while this form of treatment is going on, I can then look for a virile man that can make me pregnant, preferably a young married man with kids, someone I can be sure to give me what I want.
This idea to me seems bright and it appears to be the only way out of this troubled situation, it is for now the only way to prove to my sister-in-law and others like her that I am a woman, it appears to be the only way I can save my marriage from a woman that would want to reap from my sweat.
Rona in Port Harcourt.
You are indeed going through a trying situation. You must be strong and clear your head of some fogs if you want to remain happy after this challenge.
Barrenness brings ridicule from ignorant and wicked people to the barren. There is no doubt about the picture you painted on what you are passing through especially from your husband’s people.
I wouldn’t know if you really believe in the powers of God, there is no evidence to show me that you do.
Human beings look on the natural, but God is a supernatural being. He sees beyond the natural man, you should also know that those doctors are mere mortals, they are not God.
It is a pity you are seeing light from the American doctor’s advice, but I must say to you that you will soon be enveloped with greater darkness because no bad fruit can produce good fruit.
Your American doctor only gave you a reason to be adulterous, he is only prodding you to destroy your home and that of another because the young married man, you wish to bring into an adulterous bed may have his home scattered.
I think you have done what is in your powers as human beings, you two should let God come in now and perfect His. Children are heritage from God and not from any doctor or any young man that has children.
What if you go out of your matrimony to solve this problem, but instead of becoming pregnant you now become HIV positive?
The condition of being emasculate can be rectified by God, you need to trust Him wholeheartedly to achieve this.
Who knows if your case is reserved to prove a point.
Don’t let any American doctor deceive you into doing what you will regret. Don’t even think that being pregnant and having a baby outside wedlock will give you the desired joy, you will live with the truth of the entire saga which is enough psychological torture for you all through your life.
Your husband should be man enough to convince his father that the option of adoption is an agreement between you two; his father’s thinking should be conveyed as a suggestion to you and not as a law. The final decision on any matter directly affecting you two should be by you and your husband.
This is wishing you the best weekend.