Dear Bro Fuston,
I have confirmed that you are honest and straight to the point always and that is my conviction for writing to you.
The temptation to move back to my former boy-friend is becoming over-bearing, the pressure even comes from my body more.
My mind somehow tells me that I will have an appreciable justification if I allow my former lover back into my arms.
I have never taught of doing anything funny outside my matrimonial home but I am believing that any woman in my stead will do same and so condemnation will only come from few religious fanatics, after all my body is not made of wood.
I don’t want to make mistakes and that informs my decision to seek advice, in addressing my question. Please put into consideration my natural desires as a full fledged woman who at so many times has experienced real love and romance.
We got married four years ago and we shared the first seven months together before he returned to Ukraine where he plies his trade and since then he has not returned home and I have been alone with lots of promises that he will come home without fulfilling any of those promises.
I have been keeping myself for him since then and never allowed any man come near me.
I have all sorts of sex toys he sent to me, some times, he turns me on through the phone and I end up struggling to reach orgasm or satisfy myself sexually.
This has been going on since he left me and I long waited for his touch, but it seems like a mirage, it is as if I am going to wait endlessly, because for about five months he has not mentioned any thing about home coming, and when I raise this issue, he shouts at me, and tells me that he sends those toys to help me sexually, that some women in Europe make due sexually with artificial penis and the rest.
How long do I continue to torture myself with sex toys? Fortunately for me, my ex-boy friend is very eager to have me back even though I disappointed him by marrying my husband. He is ready to pay back all that was paid as my bride price and make me his wife, I think his idea is good but I want to enquire from you because I know you will advise me dispassionately.
I need a man who will be there for me and thank God the man who is now promising to be there for me is a man I have known for many years.
He loves me unconditionally and I have realized my mistakes and will at this time love him and cling unto him as long as he stays around me.
I want to know if I am justified to take this step, I am bored and lonely in my present marriage, my ex comes around steadily and my body hungers for the real thing and not artificial.
Ruth from Umuahia.
It is not usually easy when couple stay separately from each other.
God has several reasons for instituting marriage and one of the reasons is companionship, adequate companionship cannot be achieved when either the man or the woman lives far away from home and can stay for one month or more without coming home.
Marriage partners have so much to give to one another. Partners are expected to offer adequate spiritual, emotional, mental, financial, and other assistance to one another. When any of these lacks, there bound to be problems.
I am not a supporter of diaspora marriage because of its fragile nature and that is why young people intending to marry should be careful before embarking on it.
In your case, I pity you because it seems you are married to sex toys rather than a man, but the truth is that like you said you made a mistake, you might make a bigger mistake trying to correct the first mistake and that is why I advise you to be cautious in whatever approach you want to adopt.
Marriage is a spiritual affair, very honourable to God, there is so much to it and that is why its dissolution is not done at the snap of one’s fingers.
It is important also to note that Straight from Heart does not support divorce but proffers solution to bring peace unto troubled homes.
I am thinking that there has never been a concerted effort from you to resolve whatever problem between you and your husband. Yes, your body seeks the attention of your husband, but the truth is that it is not a justifiable reason to run back to your ex-boy-friend when your husband is not around.
You have every legitimate right to demand that your husband lives under the same roof with you, so press gently for this right. It could be your husband is ignorant of the fact that as man and wife you two are to live in the same apartment, it could be anywhere in world. Enforce your right now, either he comes home to be with you or prepare you to come over to Europe to live with him.
The mistake has been made. You should have known what you desire for yourself before accepting to marry him. Stop your ex from coming around unless you have made up your mind to be an adulterous wife.
Those toys will put you into temptation and lust. Do away with them now if you actually want to quit masturbation. Yes, masturbation because you only masturbate yourself with those satanic inventions and masturbation is not of God and so defiles.
You must articulate good reasons to convince your husband from having you live together with him as husband and wife.
Don’t relent in doing this. You know it’s a difficult task so you must put every necessary arsenal together to win the war.
Chastity will help you overcome this challenge but adultery will cripple your effort so be chaste. Good luck.