I need your advice. I am 28 years of age, in a relationship with a girl of 25 years who I intend to marry in the near future.


My only problem with her is that she is troublesome. She quarrels with almost everybody around her, I would want me to automatically pick quarrels at whoever she quarreled with.

Recently she saw me greeting a married woman she had quarrels with in her neighbourhood and since then she has not spoken to me.

Her quarrel with her best friend in school is getting to one year, and all attempts by this friend of hers for peace, she has always rebuffed. She picks on me at every little thing. She is very nice in other areas, but her constant quarrels with people is making me uncomfortable.

I love her but cannot keep a quarrelsome and nagging woman as a wife, what do I do to change her or do I leave her?




Dear Ijioma,

It pains the heart to see a loved one indulge in the wrong act.


The Bible enjoins us to be trouble shooters and not trouble makers. “As much as you can live peacefully with all men”

I for one will not advice that you bring into your house a nagging and quarrelsome woman as a wife, neither will I ask you at this time to leave her when there has not been any concerted effort to change her.

Since you love her, you are duty bound to express that love by politely letting her know that peace is better than war.

Help can emanate from anyone including perceived enemies and that is why it is important for human beings to build bridges of love and not walls of hatred.

She should learn to forgo certain pains caused to her by others and that way she can stop quarrelling.

Go ahead with your plans of marrying her in the future if she changes for good, but say no when she is adamant and finds it difficult to accept the truth.

Have blissful weekend.

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