Dear Bro. Fuston,
You are not a woman but I am sure you have known that women usually discuss relationship when they are together.
It was in several of such discussions with fellow ladies that I got to know some signs a woman will experience when she gets to orgasm during sex.
Unfortunately, I have been going out with a particular guy for over four years and I have not had any of such experience. It has not been a problem because we love each other and he has always been there for me. I have always felt that the girls sometimes cook up some of the stories they told about sex, but recently I was made to believe them because I had the best sex so far with one slim guy from Kogi State whom I met at the Orientation Camp.
The outing was meant to be a fling, but in sincerity this guy is a master of the game and he proved it to me to the extent that I lost count of the number of times we had sex in few weeks of our stay in the camp.
He actually took me to another world and that is the crux of the matter. There is a difference between this new guy and my guy whom I have known for some years.
I never knew that sex could be so sweet and enjoyable, what I do not know how to go about it is my relationship with the first guy who incidentally is my first man.
Every person that is worth something in my life and in his life is aware that we are getting married and the greatest albatross on my neck is how I am going to dump this guy and disappoint these people.
He is actually caring and has spent so much on me and is always ready to assist me or any of my relative.
This new guy has not spoken to me about marriage, but he has opened my eyes to a new vista of sexual life and my fear is if I will go out of my way to cheat on this man if we finally get married.
It is obvious that I would want to be taken to that sexual height which my man from all indications cannot take me, because he would have done this since the years we have been sleeping together.
I want to know if this can be enough reason for me not to go into what I would regret tomorrow.
In all honesty, I love my guy and he, without doubts loves me too. My only worry is his inability to make me reach orgasm which is the proof of good sex.
Now, it looks as if I am in the middle of a deep sea
Margareth in Uyo.
You are simply taking the wrong step of your life and until you abide by the right thing, solution may be far from you.
You are still an unmarried lady who should live the life of chastity as a spinster. None of the two men you are having unholy relationship with is your husband and so have it at the back of your mind that whatever sexual thing you share with these guys stands condemned before man and God.
That you have dated a man for decades or that a man has proposed to you is not a good reason why you should go into a sexual relationship with him.
Equally, it is good that I should let you know that casual sex or what you called a fling is a very dangerous venture. One can contract sexually transmitted diseases from such. It could lead to you becoming pregnant for a man you hardly know. In these days of rituals, people use every odd means to ensnare their victims and casual sex can be one of such means.
From all indications, I think you give your time and attention to fables, and that was why you decided to experiment with another man, a total stranger those deceitful things you hear from fellow amorous women.
You confessed that the exclusive relationship you are into never worried you until the shameful sexual escapade with a fellow corps member.
Let me tell you that the only way to avoid being trapped in a sexual triangle is to stay away from sex and anything that could trigger the feeling.
I am not interested in your new illicit relationship because it promises you no future. You have a man you have accepted to marry and you know him to be a good man except his inability to meet up with your new discovery (reaching sexual orgasm). If indeed you must reach orgasm then you can talk to your man about this and encourage him to improve on his approach towards sex.
You can also seek the help of a sexologist who will educate you two on ways to achieve maximum sexual satisfaction. Do remember that these steps would be taken when you are both man and wife. That is the only time you are allowed to explore yourselves sexually to the glory of God.
The most important thing you should start doing is ensuring that you are married to this guy you love.