Hi Bro Fuston,
Three years ago while I was at home briefly waiting for the release of my SSCE results, I unfortunately became pregnant. It was on the third month that I noticed the pregnancy due to the fact that my period was irregular, sometimes. Even now sometimes I will stay for two months without seeing my period.
It was difficult for me to tell my parents the man that was responsible because in less than 4 weeks, I made love to two men.
I finally settled for one of them because the one my mind convinced of being responsible traveled to America few weeks after our encounter.
The guy who lived in the adjoining street to our own denied ever being responsible and when the baby boy was finally given birth to, I needed no one to convince me that the American immigrant was the father. The semblance is very obvious.
I was able to persuade my parents not to disturb the guy here anymore, but told them that I was once raped by a group of three unidentified boys and that ended the trouble.
My confusion now is that the father of my son is back from America and is planning to get married to another lady.
I am not sure he knows I have a son, not to talk of the boy being his son.
My elder sister saw him in a supermarket and he asked after me and also gave her a wedding invitation for me.
Do I reveal this long-kept secret to him? Again, will he believe me? And how would my parents take this? This is my confusion, help me.
Onyinyeoma from Owerri
I am sure you have learnt your lessons from what happened to you.
The risk and challenges inherent in pre-marital sex are too many to mention, and I am certain you can attest to this fact.
One wrong-doing often leads to another. Sex before marriage led you to lies and the lie is what is keeping you in a fix at the moment.
You should have told your parents the whole truth from the start and they on their own would have devised a means of letting this guy in far away America or his people know that he put you in a family way before traveling.
Whatever be the case, you must spill the bean now because an opportunity has presented itself for the truth to be told after all, you cannot conceal this fact all your life.
The only problem you will have is that you may be looked upon with suspicion; some may think you are a gold-digger coming to rip off the guy. Some may say you wickedly want to stop his wedding. Your parents may be disappointed but ensure that you drive your point home.
If it means going for a paternity test, do so in order that the truth about your case will be established.
Be mindful on how you go about this so that you don’t cause bigger trouble in trying to say the truth.