I enjoy the way you address the problems being presented to you by people. That is what motivated me to seek your advice on an issue perturbing me for about three months I receive the information.
My lover is very Godly, but you need to see him get angry. He can pull down a house or even snuff life out of one in an extreme provocation.
He is a different person from his calm and gentle self when pushed to the walls. It appears something else takes over him when he fumes and that unseen being remote-controls him until he is done with whatever action he embarks on.
I have known him for about eight months now and to say I love him is the least.
Without his sordid past, and his angry actions, he is my choice man and also any lady’s man.
He is hardworking, honest, handsome and very caring. He pets me like a mother will pet her new born baby.
His height and size appear very intimidating and I usually feel secure in his company.
I have never loved any man the way I love this guy. I have looked forward to that day he will ask me to marry him. Since we became friends, I have never had any cause to doubt his faithfulness to me, yes I say this because I have never seen him, neither have I heard nor in any way suspected him having an affair with another girl, unlike my former boy-friends.
He is steadfast in the worship of God and is well-known in his church. He reads his Bible consistently and when he sings you may mistake his angelic voice to that of the host of heaven.
He is 38 years old and I am 28 years old, he has a shop where car air-conditioners (AC) and other types of ACs are repaired.
It was a problem that ensued between him and the father of one of his apprentices recently that opened my eyes to his past.
The apprentice had burnt a customer’s car engine out of carelessness and disrespect to my guy and in anger he took a spanner and hit it hard on the boy’s head and the young boy felled down and collapsed.
He was in coma for three whole days and when he was revived by the doctors, he stayed in the hospital for three full months before being discharged.
This incident led to the police case between my guy and the father of this boy, a retired police officer.
It was in one occasion that I went to the police with his younger brother and a friend to effect his bail that the Investigating Police Officer (IPO) told us to warn him to slow on his temperament, the IPO said that their findings show that his quick temper had earlier brought upon him a six years jail term which he served out four years ago and that if he is not careful enough to manage his tempers he may be imprisoned again.
I was looking at his brother to raise an objection to what the police man said but he did not, which means it is true.
I later gathered that he kicked a pregnant woman on the stomach and the woman fainted. The baby in the womb died but the woman was resuscitated. The husband of the woman took the matter to court and he was clamped in the prison.
He confirmed this, but said he is always overtaken by his anger. He loves me dearly and has never shouted at me let alone beat me, but it is obvious that he can kill when he gets very angry.
What do you advise me to do? Accept to marry him because his mother and siblings approve of our relationship and from all indications he is willing to marry me but yet to say it.
Again, I am skeptical if my parents and siblings especially my father and my eldest brother will accept an ex-convict into our royal house as an in-law. You know the stigma and embarrassment associated with this situation.
Kimberly from Umuahia
You requested for my dispassionate view on your situation. That I can assure you, you will get.
Every behaviour has a spirit controlling it. If one finds out that a particular behaviour one exhibits is usually followed by a negative consequence then the person should know that, that behaviour has a negative spirit controlling it.
The realization of this fact is the first thing and finding a remedy to this problem is another thing.
Has your friend been made to know that his tempers are being controlled by negative forces? Proper understanding of this will surely bring the insight on how he could control and hold back his anger when provoked.
He maybe a good Christian like you said, but often times good Christians pray amiss. A wise man, they say, controls his tempers.
In my view you should not accept marriage proposals from this quick-tempered guy if he proposes to you. He needs a spiritual rejuvenation. He needs to overcome the spirit of anger by prayerfully rebuking this wicked spirit. You can join him in this exercise of fasting and prayer.
He can buy a puppy and see how far he can be patient with the little dog in its training. Endurance in rearing domestic animals somehow helps marriages, mostly when there are issues that can elicit quarrels and anger.
His past as an ex-convict should not be a barrier to what you feel for him. Instead of his past I will suggest that you focus more on his present and importantly his future.
We all have made our mistakes in the past including your dad and brother who you said may not approve of him. Many have committed offences that would have taken them to jail but because they were not caught, or because they were ignored or for some other reasons they walk the streets as free citizens.
His being an ex-convict should not deter you, rather do all you could to take away this negative spirit of anger from this man that loves you. Keep your love for him alive and I tell you respite will surely come your way.
Be of good cheer