IT REALLY HAPPENED TO HER!
I realize some of you may never believe some of the things you are going to read, but I implore you to read it to the end. If for nothing else, at least to ensure that you never have any female friend, sister, cousin, mother or niece go through the same life altering, harrowing experiences that this lady did. This is written to everyone today telling you the full unblemished story of David Ihua.
She met David for the first time in 1994, a young 19 year old girl with stars in her eyes who had just gotten into the university and was ready to take on the world. Anna (that’s her name) is a kind, loving, caring, sweet person who gave others a chance because she feels we all as individuals deserve it. David had escorted his friend Frank to her room, to see her roommate Ethel (who Frank was asking out at the time).
David was 22 years old, 3 years older than her and clearly more exposed. They got talking and he gave her a sob story of how he lost his mother to cancer, his dad and step mum hated him and had been maltreating him and had now abandoned him. He stated that he doubted if he would be in school for very long. Anna was touched by his story and said to him “your mum is looking down on you from heaven”, at the time David said to her “if there really is a heaven or hell, she is probably in hell”.
He asked her out officially then. David left school soon after and went to Lagos, and Anna, the eternal optimist that she was, went after him to encourage him to come back to school and finish his education. David claimed he had no family supporting him through school, so Anna told him she would help; he came back to school based on this, and moved into Anna’s one room and that became his home for the next 4 years of college. At 19, Anna made the horrible mistake of taking up a responsibility of single handedly caring for David, feeding, paying school fees, rent, buying his clothes, and funding his transportation. Everyone she knew at the time was mad at her, but she didn’t care because she thought “when you love someone you do everything you can to help them”. A mistake she will forever live to regret.
Very early into the relationship David was shamelessly staying with Anna in her room with a roommate. The roommate Ethel, could see right through David from the get go, and pleaded with Anna not to get sucked into his dubious ways. According to Ethel, David was wretched looking, disheveled most times and had only 2 pairs of shirts and 1 jeans. Ethel was shocked her friend decided to date him and went ahead to feed, clothe and pay his school fees. Recounting their school days to me, Ethel said it was horrible because it was clear that he was just a user/sponge/parasite, eating up all the food they had bought jointly and generally making himself a nuisance in the room. To make matters worse, David started to do the unthinkable…he started to physically beat up Anna in front of others.
The very first time he hit her, they were having an argument and he told her not to talk back to him, she spoke and he slapped her 6 times in front of his friend Ovie. Anna was devastated, hurt, confused and thought to herself “I do not have to take this”. David came back at midnight crying, begging and pleading, saying to her “I am sorry…I will kill myself if you don’t take me back…you are all I have…please forgive me…I will NEVER lay a finger on you again”.
He beat her frequently and most of the time for no clear reason and would come back to beg physically crying and pleading every time for forgiveness. Anna kept forgiving him, because she loved him and believed in him and honestly thought he would change and be the man he was meant to be. He told her he thought she was too good for him and she was his angel sent to save him, so he pleaded for her never to leave him. Ethel adviced her to leave him, because she didn’t think the bruises were worth it, and Anna refused and went as far as withdrawing from her friend. Ethel moved out of the room because she could no longer stomach what she was watching. Anna and Ethel did not really speak to each other until after graduation.
Izehi another friend of Anna’s recounted to me how one time David beat Anna so badly and she had genuinely had enough. She kicked him out of her place and asked him to get his things out. Izehi was right there when he came kneeling down, crying and begging saying “please take me back and I will never do it again. I have no one, everyone in my family has abandoned me, I have no true friends…YOU ARE ALL I HAVE”.
I would like to state here and now as a matter of fact: that there will NEVER be a reason in this world created by God that any man should raise his hand to a woman. That man is actually less than a man, he’s a vermin who should crawl on his belly like an earth worm because it means he is a coward, clearly cannot use his words to argue and needs to use his fist to try and intimidate, oppress and belittle a woman who has every right to speak, be heard and understood just as much as he does. It shows that you have no confidence in yourself, hence the use of a fist…(The writer)
It was becoming a pattern in David and Anna’s relationship where he would use her for everything she had including money, sex, a roof over his head, then beat and hurt her to shut her up if there was any resistance from her in terms of not fulfilling his needs. Technically unknown to Anna, she had become a VICTIM, who couldn’t see that she was being physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually battered. He also made sure he cut her off from her friends, family and anyone who could have talked some sense into her. There are numerous accounts from varying friends of David and Anna who talk about how she gave so much of her self endlessly to David. Ethel says it was so bad that Anna was loosing weight trying to conserve her funds, whilst David would wrack up the bills at the bukas (cafeterias) where Anna would have deposited money for their feeding. David in his self-absorbed, egoistic, selfish and narcissistic world would even take his friends to the bukas (CAFETERIAS) in question and use up more of Anna’s money in drinking and eating. He had not a care in the world really because he had basically found a “mugu” (meaning: IDIOT) to use.
Her older twin brothers at this point could not understand what she was doing with him and several times were so angry they wanted to look for David in school and deal with him themselves the way he beat her up, alas he would go into hiding (like the slime he was) for a while after committing one of his atrocities.
In 1998 when it was time to graduate, Anna was ready to leave school, and thought to herself, it’s a great way to have a fresh start. Again David came to her and told her he didn’t think he was going to graduate because he hadn’t been focused on his book work. At that time Anna begged her older sister and collected $100 to pay for David to graduate (basically for his project and defence of same).
School ended and Anna went back home, David on the other hand went to an aunt, Mrs. Okorji’s house. 3 days later he was unceremoniously kicked out of the aunt’s house and came back to Anna in desperation. Anna once again came to David’s rescue. She begged her mum to allow David stay for a few weeks until he figured out where he would go. Her mother reluctantly agreed.
To be honest I couldn’t immediately understand why Anna allowed him into her mother’s house after everything he had done to her, but I remembered again that here was a very altruistic, generous, kind hearted lady who honestly believed that he would change for the better…(the writer)
LIFE AFTER SCHOOL
Another chapter in Anna’s life began. David moved in with her and her family and unknown to them all would end up staying for 5 long years. Soon after, Anna realized she was pregnant. David was very upset about this when she told him and he insisted she abort the baby. She bluntly refused and he once again beat her up thoroughly and walked out of her life. Anna initially looked everywhere for him, but after 5months and advice from friends to let him go, she was resigned to having the baby on her own. Her family was willing to help her as well as give the baby her family name. She no longer needed David and was ready to move on with her life as a single mum. 8 months into her pregnancy David turned up again and commented on the pregnancy saying “I see you decided to keep IT”. One would have assumed that this was the chance David needed to run away from Anna and his responsibilities, considering he had used and abused her and her goodwill until graduation, but in a convoluted twist David came back.
He not only begged Anna, he also pleaded with her mum to beg Anna on his behalf saying “I am truly sorry and I need Anna’s forgiveness, please for the sake of our baby take me back.” He told her he loved her and wanted them to bring up their son together. He said he wanted them to get married immediately. A friend of both David and Anna, (Ejiro) said to me that back in school watching them together, he always felt their relationship was toxic, and definitely not good for Anna. This from a guy who was more David’s friend than Anna’s; infact he met Anna through David. Ejiro says David was never responsible even then, was never willing to take charge of any situation and basically saw Anna as his meal ticket, so anything he had to do to keep her as such, he would do. Ejiro also said he thinks that’s why David was okay with Anna being pregnant because it meant he had a tie to her and if she was going to go abroad to America, (which was the plan all along for Anna) David’s assumption was that she would not leave him behind.
I had to ask Anna at this point, “weren’t you tired of his here today gone tomorrow antics as well as his unreliability? Why did you take him back again”??? She said to me: I was 22 at the time, expecting my 1st child, the father of my child was on his knees begging and neighbours, relatives and friends all said to me…he’s really begging maybe he has really changed, give him another chance for your child’s sake. And so she did. Anna says to me now in retrospect it was the BIGGEST mistake she ever made, because she feels she would have been better off as a single mother to her son.
David proposed to Anna and they got married on the 12th of August 1999. (See marriage certificate attached)
On their wedding day, Anna was 38 weeks into her pregnancy. Unbelievably, after the wedding, David moved back into Anna’s mother’s house. Their son Diamond was born in September of 1999.
BACKGROUND CHECK ON DAVID IHUA
I wonder if anyone has pondered on the whereabouts of David Ihua’s family? After all he didn’t fall from the skies did he? This is what we have been able to piece together with evidence and not hear say, because all David has ever really told Anna it seems, were a lot of lies.
David Ihua was born on 8th January 1974, to a Russian mother and Nigerian father. David says his dad went to school in Russia and met his mum there, and they had two kids David and Victoria who was born in February 1976. Now this is where it gets confusing because David has told so many versions of his past we do not know what to believe anymore. When he was 16 years old, his dad told him to come for a visit to Nigeria. At this time his mother was ill with cancer but living in the United Kingdom with David and Victoria. (This is what David has told everyone). He comes to Nigeria and his dad is supposed to be a titled chief, who seized David’s passport and refused for him to go back home. David was frustrated and angry but was told as the 1st son he has to be with his dad. He went to a local secondary school and eventually got into university of Port Harcourt, where he met up with new people from all over Nigeria and eventually met Anna.
Based on letters and correspondence that David left behind in Anna’s mother’s house, this is what we know. His sister Victoria wrote him several times. In one of her letters she pleaded with David to come back as their mum was gravely ill, this was in 1991. In the letter Victoria asked David to elaborate more on the doctor he claimed could treat cancer with herbs, and for him to send some herbs with instructions. (Clearly David’s capacity for lies and illusions started at an early age, misleading and deceiving others) Victoria also asked for information about where he was living, who his friends were and wanted to know when their dad would come to the UK as promised to take her shopping. ( I felt quite sad as I read this, because I thought to myself, even the father was deceiving this little girl as well…maybe David learnt his gift for gab, deceit, manipulation and lack of care from his paternal lineage…or what do we think?)
Victoria emphasized how ill their mum was and even said she had been given 2-3months to live. She begged David to phone them urgently.
Their mother died on 29th August 1991 and it would seem that David did not contact his sister in the UK or his grandmother in Russia who wrote to him several times. They wrote repeatedly begging David to get in touch and asking about his welfare. His grandmother Mrs. Panasova Vera Petrovna, living in Moscow, wrote David again. She told him she was ill and using crutches and hoped she could wait for him to come to Russia to see her before she died. Victoria wrote again in March of 1999 and was back in the UK living and working there. She even wrote an invitation letter for her brother to come and join her there. (so again I wonder? Why did David insist on being with Anna and living off her? Did he really love her? Or was he just a devious, cold opportunist who weighed his options and decided that she was a sure thing to a better life than he had at the time? Or was he a clear sociopath?).
David asked Anna to marry him and told her he had $1,000 left to him by his late grandmother who had just passed away; so they could use it for the wedding. David claimed his family in Nigeria hated him, were not there for him, did not provide for him. This is the story he told anyone who cared to listen, and quite a number of people initially felt sorry for him. He took advantage of this pity and committed horrible atrocities for quite some time.
Anna remembers how David would write her poems and send her cards, but never made any money to take care of them as a family. She on the other hand would celebrate his birthdays just to make him feel special and loved, based on the horror story he told of his past.
A sample of one of the cards.
Anna celebrating David’s birthday with him.
IN SEARCH OF GREENER PASTURES
She left for the United States when her son was barely 2 years old. She worked round the clock to provide for her family back in Nigeria which was technically David and Diamond. David was still staying at her mum’s house even in her absence. Anna sent clothes, money, paid all bills and even gave David pocket money on a constant basis. David did not work in Nigeria throughout this period either. Thus Anna was the sole provider for the home.
David never let Anna breathe. He constantly whined and talked about how he needed to be with her there in the U.S. He claimed he longed for a way to provide for his family and she needs to find a way to get him over there. Meanwhile David was driving Anna’s mums car anywhere and everywhere back in Nigeria, going out with his friends and acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was also sleeping with a myriad of other girls/women. The most shocking aspect of all of this for me (as the writer) was to hear that he brought the girls he slept with into Anna’s mum’s house. UNBELIEVABLE! UNIMAGINABLE! TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL! BUT HE DID IT!!
So apparently when the old woman would go to bed at night, David would sneak his whores into the house and have sex with them all night long. He would also sneak them back out in the wee hours of the morning. Anna’s mum did not realize for a long time, until one morning when one of the girls was asking to be paid and made a ruckus that woke up David’s mother in law.
ANNA’S MUMS STORY
I spoke with Anna’s mum. This was a mother who took in David because her daughter begged her to. For her daughters sake she tried to love him as her own son and treated him as such. She said to me that when she looks back on the things David did she just thanks God that they all survived him and the mess he caused. She said David would take her car out all day, collect petrol (gas) money from her + pocket money and be gone for ages. She would have to take a bus to the market and sometimes David would drive past her on the road. So the owner of the car became an onlooker sweating under the sun in her advanced age, because of the unmitigated selfishness, callousness, shameless and neurotic behavior of a twisted young man. Anna’s mum said most times she would cry but she tried to ignore some of these things for her daughter’s sake. At a point she had some things sent to her from the United States by her other children there. David was meant to pick up her bags from the Lagos International Airport. He went and came back after 2 weeks to say her bags arrived but was pilfered and most of the valuables had been stolen. David was supposed to have stayed with his cousin/in law, Chika Joy. She had a roommate (Sophia) who later told Anna after a few years that David and the “so called” cousin went through the mum’s bags which did arrive intact and took out expensive fabric in the bag and the cousin used it to make clothes. Other things in the bag they sold for money and split it. The roommate Sophia, also stated that they (David and Chika) were actually sleeping together in the past and are not cousins but lovers. Sophia added that David’s uncle Fred, who is his dads younger brother once sent David to the bank to withdraw N50,0 00. David withdrew the money but got a friend of his to come over to Chika’s house and they beat each other up, to make it look like a robbery. He later told his uncle that he was robbed on the way. (Is it just me or does it seem like something is dreadfully wrong with this man???)
Anna’s mum and David; she treated him and loved him like her own son.
Ultimately she (Anna’s mum) realized what kind of person David was but didn’t know how she would tell her daughter. David’s rudeness and misbehavior could no longer be hidden from her, so she saw him for who he was, but prayed that when Anna came back, he would do better. She was hoping for the best ( suffice to say, it’s not very hard to see why Anna was the way she was…she had been taught by her mum to persevere, hang on and make marriage work) even the neighbors and landlord had seen David’s true character and were appalled and shocked by it all.
ACCOUNTS FROM OTHERS
David eventually got his cousin Peace in Florida to introduce a lady to Anna who would help with documents to get David over. He was very impatient and did not want to wait for due process and wanted a quick fix to his problems. Anna was willing to try it because she was so hopeful for David, thinking to herself, “at last he would get a job, and wipe away all this shame and embarrassment that I have borne all this time. I won’t have to work so hard to provide for us both, at last things can finally be normal” ….or so she thought.
Funny enough Anna’s brother Eric who was abroad at the time, also spoke with me. He recounts those times and says when he met David his first impression was: funny guy, easy to get along with but that he looked in his eyes and just knew he couldn’t be trusted. Even so, Eric opened an account in Nigeria during that visit and made David a signatory to the account. This was to allow for easy access to the cash for his mum, since David was staying at her house. (Remember that this was before internet banking in Nigeria).
Eric could not understand why after some time, when he wanted to access the funds it wasn’t possible. It would seem that David had on his own, (without consent), made a withdrawal of practically everything in the account. When he was asked why he did it, he again begged profusely and said he would pay it back. Technically he stole Eric’s money.
(Listening to Eric, it was clear to me that David Ihua is a functioning sociopath) to better understand this phrase, please see the definition and characteristics below of a sociopath
DEFINITION: “A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience…”wikipeadia
CHARACTERISTICS OF A SOCIOPATH
• Superficial charm and good intelligence
• Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking
• Absence of nervousness or neurotic manifestations
• Untruthfulness and insincerity
• Lack of remorse and shame
• Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior
• Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience
• Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love
• General poverty in major affective reactions
• Specific loss of insight
• Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations
• Fantastic and uninviting behavior with alcohol and sometimes without
• Suicide threats rarely carried out
• Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated
• Failure to follow any life plan
Whilst waiting in Nigeria for his papers to come through, David would pick up his son from school and every so often they would speak to Anna on the phone on their way home. There was a couple (neighbors) who also had their son in same school. They had a teenage daughter Tina who would go along with David for pick up at school. Tina was 15 years old at the time. Anna recalls how she would call David and speak to Tina on several occasions during school run on David’s phone. In 2003 Anna was scheduled to come home for a brief period, she came to get documents for David’s processing, see her son, and family and generally bond with them again. She had been speaking with Tina regularly and had formed a friendship with her. She even brought some things for Tina, her baby brother and her mum as presents!
Anna arrived Nigeria with high hopes, love and stars in her eyes as David had been sweet over the phone for a while now, telling her how much he loves her and cannot appreciate her enough for what she had been doing for their family, how he couldn’t wait to make it up to her and make her proud of him. The night she arrived in Lagos, Tina had called David’s phone and officially welcomed Anna back. She promised to visit as soon as she could. A few days later, Emeka Okorji, David’s cousin told Anna that David had been having an affair with a 16 year old girl named Tina. She didn’t believe it, she had been speaking with her through David and didn’t think it was possible. Emeka confirmed it was real and told Anna he had personally cautioned David over this affair. David actually told Emeka he couldn’t stop because he was in love with the little girl. Emeka told Anna in very clear terms to stop helping David because he was giving all the money and goods Anna sent over to Tina. Another neighbour, Tonye Ayerite also confronted him over sleeping with a little girl, warning him about child abuse.
Apparently he had paid Tina’s school fees, exam fees and bought her new clothes, shoes and jewelry all with Anna’s money. There were clothes sent down for David to sell and make some extra money, and he gave some of those as well to the little girl. The evidence was piling up against David, so Anna decided there was no point speaking with the little girl and chose to speak with her mum. Tina’s mum was beyond appalled, upset and devastated. She called Tina out to the living room and under extreme pressure Tina admitted to the whole affair. She said she has been having a sexual relationship with David for over a year and frequently spent the night at Anna’s mum’s house, but snuck out early hours of the morning, so they wouldn’t get caught. Tina’s mum was so disappointed in her and so angry and told her to stop all communications with David. Anna got home and was upset at the whole situation asking herself “why am I even still with him?” David was waiting at the gate of the compound and not only was he not sorry, but he beat Anna so badly, punching, kicking, slapping and yelling at her. Then, he ran away with Tina and disappeared for 3 days. Tina’s mum was frantically looking for her daughter. David returned and Anna was scared he was going to hit her, instead he went on his knees AGAIN and begged her not to leave him. He said he was sorry he cheated and that he wouldn’t cheat again, and besides it was her fault for not being around because he was just lonely and used Tina to fill a void. He also claimed Tina had no one to care for her and that was why he was with her. He promised to cut off all ties to Tina.
(Let’s face it, at this point in their story we all have to admit that there clearly is something dreadfully wrong with this young man called David. A man who would blatantly lie, distort the facts, disrespect, dishonor, abuse and deride his wife? Who was slaving away abroad for him and her family? A man who had no scruples whatsoever and acted like he doesn’t need to follow any norms or rules in society? A man who was a pedophile and saw nothing wrong in having sex with a 15 year old? A man who so far had done nothing to take care of his family but was very comfortable allowing a woman take care of him and pay his bills and even use her money on other women?…do I hear someone say sociopath?) …
Anna, sadly once again forgave him. Or did she? When Anna returned to the states she found out she was pregnant with her second child. It was a happy and sad time for her because she had gone home for 10 days but before that they had talked about having another baby, which was why she came home around her ovulation period. She told David about the pregnancy and he seemed happy at the time. She was working so hard and constantly on her feet. 70 hour a week work days and trying to make ends meet, all in the bid for David and her son to come to the states. In her 2nd trimester she started having complications and loosing fluid each passing day. When she got to the hospital, she was told that she had already dilated and the baby could not be saved. On 25th July 2003, their daughter, Tamara was born but died a few minutes later. Alone and depressed she had her daughter’s body cremated and put in an urn because she wanted her husband and father to her daughter to be able to say goodbye to her and then they would dispose of the ashes together. This was not meant to be.
Anna became disillusioned and tired of it all. She kept asking herself “what’s the point of all this” she began for the very 1st time to re-evaluate her relationship with David. She realized that all the beatings, horrible derogatory abusive words, and violent sex afterwards coupled with his manic begging and pleadings and declarations of love were not normal. She came to the conclusion that it wasn’t healthy for any relationship and was at a loss on what to do. Nevertheless she also thought about the fact that they were a family now with a child and married to boot. She prayed fervently for God to guide her steps about it all.
(Every woman has gone through a re-evaluation of some sort at different points in their lives. What was worrisome for me, was the fact that Anna was in a psychological, physical and emotionally abusive relationship and it could lead to her death and she just didn’t realize it)
Back in Nigeria David wrote a letter to his uncle Sunny Ojimini (please find attached)
Telling him how he had lost his baby daughter in America where they should have been able to save her, he also spoke about how he was so sad and depressed and didn’t have his father to support him. There are a lot of inconsistencies in his letter to his uncle, where he contradicted himself often.
Using the documents she acquired through David’s cousin, Anna filed for David to come over to the U.S. She sold her car at Carmax, used the money to pay his visa fees, medicals and also paid for his biometrics. She also purchased David’s tickets both local and international online. (Anna later found out that Soky Lawson and another uncle in Abuja claimed to also have paid for his ticket to the U.S. This means that David scammed his relatives. He did this by showing them both visas on the passports and claiming that things were so tough and he and his son needed to go and join his wife in the States. He clearly also scammed his wife and let’s not forget stole money from Eric all in the bid to come to America) Another victim was Rita, Anna’s older sister who was also scammed because it was her credit card that was used for part of the tickets and David knew this and never bothered about paying back. Can David deny not doing this to everyone mentioned here? He cannot!!)
It seems that Eric got in touch with David before he was meant to come over and asked him ‘man to man’ how much he had put together for his trip. David had the audacity and gall to say $0. Eric thought to himself this man is a lay about who is really not serious, how does he intend to take care of his family? He wants to put all the burden on Anna? A few days to his departure David called Anna and reiterated how much he loves her and cannot thank her enough for doing all of this for him. In retrospect he did that because he felt he was nearing his end game.
COMING TO AMERICA
In October 2004, Anna and her older brother Eric rented a car and drove from Silver Springs, Maryland to La Guardia airport New York in the midst of a horrible snow storm to pick David and Diamond up. David didn’t hug Anna, no emotions were shown, nothing!!! and when asked he claimed he was just very tired and needed to rest (unknown to her, David had told everyone in Port Harcourt that the minute he gets into America, he would be gone from her life, so it seems he had achieved his aim of coming to the US. He no longer had any use or need for her).
They all stayed at Eric’s house for over 8 months, before Anna was able to save enough money for them to get their own place. Eric could not understand how David was comfortable with letting Anna do everything and live off her, because he was a man who had worked for everything he had. Thus he was beginning to get irritated by David. His love for his sister meant that Eric had to be a bit more considerate and try to accommodate having a full grown man laze around the house doing nothing whilst he claimed to be “job hunting”. He also allowed David drive his car all over town in Maryland. David increasingly became openly hostile and inconsiderate towards Anna. ( Eric’s account as he watched them at his house). Twice he drove the car and got into accidents but somehow the damage was always on Anna’s side of the car. Anna fearfully asked him once if he was trying to kill her? The second time, the car was damaged beyond repair and had to be abandoned. David showed no remorse.
One other time he took her to the hospital when she had an appointment for her thyroid problem, but before she came out of the hospital, David had driven off on a whim with Eric’s car. Things were escalating very quickly in their marriage since David arrived in the US and it began to seem to Anna that all the friends and relatives who had warned her about him and his behaviour and the fact that he would never do right by her, were all telling the truth.
When they moved into their own apartment, unfortunately a part of Anna’s life that she thought was over started all over again. He began to beat her again. David would beat Anna and tell her how worthless, ugly, fat, and inconsequential she was. She was 160 pounds and 5ft 9” tall. He would tell her “i don’t even know what i am doing with you, anyway it’s out of pity because no one else will have you”. Anna wanted to leave with her son, but David would threaten his wife and say to her “you know you are an illegal immigrant, i will tell the authorities and they will deport you and you will never see your son again”. Then he would forcefully have sex with her, and tell her “why do you make me do these things, don’t you know that I love you?” stop making me so angry, because it’s all your fault”. All this was happening less than a year after David got to America. (one might think, okay maybe he is frustrated because he has no job and his ego is bruised or maybe he just feels less than a man. It will NEVER justify what he did to her and instead he should have gotten more control over himself and managed his emotions…or is it possible he just never could??? Or is it that he enjoyed it too much inflicting pain on others? Does the term sociopath begin to ring more true for you all?)
TRYING TO COPE
She was working all the hours that God gave and was doing her best to ensure they had a roof over their heads and food to eat. David began odd jobs whilst waiting for his papers to be processed. At this point David was a legal immigrant and by a twist of fate the woman who had sweated, suffered, toiled and sacrificed so much to get him to America, was now an illegal immigrant. He was meant to start a proper job and file for her to become legal. She had been in the States longer, so at one time even though she was paying the rent, she asked him to renew the lease with his name so that he would begin to build credit and to aid enrolling their son in school and benefits and such. He was supposed to add her name on the lease…but David never did, and always procrastinated when she asked him why. What this meant was; she was busy thinking ahead and planning for her family even though she wasn’t happy anymore, BUT David was obviously plotting and scheming to abandon and run away from his family. Meanwhile David was still in contact with Tina the little girl back in Port Harcourt. He was sending her emails and poems, some of the poems he used to write to Anna when they were younger. Tina was also calling the house they lived in, in America while Anna was at work and this was because David had told her he was living alone with his son; she would write saying she misses him and wish she was there to take care of him and his son, who Tina referred to as “our son”.
In 2005 Anna got pregnant again. She says to me David seemed alright with it. One day the phone rang and Anna was home, pregnant and tired, but resting on the sofa.
A lady with a Spanish accent asked “is David there?”
Anna says “no but can I take a message?”
The lady asked “who are you?”
Anna replied “his wife”.
She says ”does he know you are his wife?” Anna was shocked by the question;
And the lady says “David didn’t say he was married”
Anna said to her well he’s married with a son and another one on the way,
And she (the lady with a Spanish accent replied: “well you better go and work out your divorce”. Then, she hung up the phone.
When Anna confronted him about it David brushed it off and said it was from a job interview he went for and tried to play it down; infact he laughed heartily and said he wonders why a stranger would ask her such questions. At this point Anna realized that something was obviously going on and it was quite stressful for her, this is because she had been told by the doctors that she needed to be on bed rest, have no stressful situations and basically try to relax. She had had a cerclage (this is when they put stitches on the cervix to keep it closed and hold the baby in place) done to ensure she didn’t lose this pregnancy because of the last baby she had lost. She had actually been told not to work anymore as it was a high risk pregnancy but because she was paying all the bills and their young son was in school, she had no choice but to continue working.
A friend of David’s, Soky Lawson came over to the U.S. from Nigeria. Anna had met him once during their days in school. He stayed with them at their apartment, for about a week, and she ensured there was food in the house, but was always working. When she would get home they would be playing video games and faffing around, but she would get up early in the morning with her pregnancy and off she would go again, back to work. The situation was becoming untenable. David got a new job that was well paying, but was never home, coming back as late as 2-3am every night, (even when he closed at 5pm), lying about his whereabouts and reeking of alcohol. Several times Anna wondered why it seemed that David didn’t want her or his family anymore, but was completely averse to her leaving. It was a whole Jekyll and Hyde situation and it was causing her a lot of stress and affecting the baby in her womb. There was also the whole women issues, money issues, and lack of care for his family, it all became too much for her.
THE ORDEAL (12TH AUGUST. WEDDING ANNIVERSARY)
In August 2005, 29 year old Anna told David she would like to go and stay in her brother’s house (which was on the same street) because she would need someone to take care of her incase anything happened based on the cerclage she had on her cervix which David knew about. She said because he was rarely ever around it would be practical if she was at her brothers place until the baby came. David told her not to go anywhere and Anna insisted because she was tired of constantly expecting him to be responsible and he never rose to the occasion. She needed to feel safe and protected. Something she was not getting from David. She was going with her son, and said we would be just down the road until at least after the baby is born we can look at our marriage again. When she turned to leave David violently threw the home phone at her, and started to verbally abuse her, he told her she was wicked, her family was wicked and that his father (who supposedly was never in the picture) warned him about her. He began to beat her mercilessly, and whilst wearing shoes began to kick her and shove her.
She fell on the floor and David proceeded to kick her in her 24 week pregnant belly several times, telling her she would not be able to stop his progress in life and she should tell her useless mother that they can’t hold him back. Anna’s stitches came off, her fluids started to leak as well and she started to bleed vaginally, and on her neck and arms. She pleaded with David to stop as she was bleeding and needed to go to the hospital, in his rage and anger he didn’t stop and was not interested in listening to anything she had to say. He spat at her, cussed at her and condemned her. He grabbed her neck and began to squeeze trying to choke her. She decided to calm him down to safeguard her baby and said to him “I won’t leave you, but please I need to go to the hospital”. He continued to rant and told her she is very ugly and no one would ever want her and that he doesn’t even know what he was doing with her in the first place. He dragged her into the kitchen like a log of wood, the mother of his son, pregnant with his 2nd child, and made her sit on the floor there for over 3 hours with the door securely locked. He eventually said to her “see what you made me do” and wet a towel to begin to clean her neck, where he had tried to strangulate her. She said “let me just go and get my things from outside, I will be right back”. Only then did he let her go because he thought as usual he had broken her and she would meekly do as instructed. Anna walked outside without shoes and till this day she said it felt like she had been released from prison, because she just started to run for her life down Georgia Avenue, she was disoriented but ran and ran, bleeding the whole time, thinking please God don’t let me loose this baby. David came out of the building saw her running and started to chase after her. She hopped on a bus and ended up at her brother’s house. Eric saw the state Anna was in and called an ambulance as well as their sister Rita, who then called the police. It would seem David ran away at this point knowing that the game was up, he had done the undeniable and he ran so he wouldn’t have to be held accountable. Despite all this, Anna never pressed charges against David due to the fear of her immigration status.
Eric tells me that his sister was bleeding and had bruises around her neck, he was scared and worried for Anna and the baby, so he just wanted her to go to the hospital. The police arrived and initially thought it was Eric who was her husband and had done this to her, they kept pushing for her to press charges, she said that’s my brother. They asked where the man was who had done this to her, and the police said “ma’am if he can do this to you pregnant he will do it again”. Anna was in pain and was very worried about her baby, she kept saying take me to the hospital, take me to the hospital, and so the ambulance took her to the hospital. When she got there the doctors were worried because they could see that the stitches had come off, they could see her bruises and they could see blood and fluids from the pregnancy all coming out. Anna was only 24 weeks pregnant and the likelihood of losing her baby was very high.
The doctors had to induce labour but they waited for 2 days and gave her all sorts of drugs hoping to help the baby’s lungs develop before she came out. Anna gave birth to Tamara on the 14th of August 2005, weighing 0.6kg and the doctors calmly told her that she would most likely not survive. Anna cried and cried so much, she felt that she too should just die. She couldn’t stop blaming herself for her child’s suffering, she thought out loud, “if I had just left him ages ago this child wouldn’t be suffering now”.
Tamara had stage four Hydrocephalus (excess bleeding in the brain.), Ventricular Septal Disorder (or hole in the heart), Premature Retinopathy, underdeveloped lungs which collapsed twice shortly after birth, and was told she had less than two weeks to live, and if she did, she would be severely disabled.
Tamara in the 1st few hours of birth obviously in pain and doctors were not sure she would make it.
Rosemary, Anna’s younger sister who also lived in America, was frantic when she heard the news from Eric. She had met David only once but had spoken to him on the phone before. She told me that when she met him, she thought to herself “something is not right about this guy” she says it was his eyes; no matter what he was doing, smiling or laughing, his eyes never changed in expression. So even though he seemed nice to her daughter, she was not comfortable around him. Rosemary was on her way to her sister. In the morning of August 15th, after Eric had searched for David everywhere he found him at Walmart and forced him to the hospital because his signature was needed for surgeries to commence on Tamara. Tamara was 6 hours old when David came to Holy Cross hospital. The doctors gave him the bad news about his child. He signed all the documents and said to Anna, “I don’t want a disabled child, they have a look about them”. (This from a man who had caused his daughter to be born way earlier than she should have been and likely would cause her death because of his violent streak and total lack of control).
Then he left. He walked out on his child and never looked back. Rosemary was coming into the hospital and saw David on his way out, she was so frantic she asked him “how are they?” David replied, “Anna is fine, but IT is not going to make it”. Rosemary said to me that to this day she can never forget what he said and the words he used, describing his own child as IT!!!!! And so David walked out of their lives………
Frantic, worried and in despair over her baby, Anna kept trying to reach David because she didn’t know what to do and was deathly afraid their daughter was going to die. David on the other hand kept asking for his stuff and documents with Anna, he never asked about the baby and didn’t bring any money to help with the bills. Desperate at a point Anna called David and told him she needed to have sanitary towels after giving birth and David told her to write him an email with her needs, when she did he told her that the sanitary towels were too expensive. Anna could not believe how her life got to this point, when she looked back, all the money she had made and spent on David, all the risks she had taken, all the insults and abuses from others for being such an idiot and letting a man use her, all the quarrels with friends and family, the abandonment by others, all so she could build a home with David because she had hopes he would become a better man someday…… ALL GONE.
(Dear readers, David had used Anna financially, emotionally and physically. He had beaten her, insulted her, and reduced her self-esteem to nothing. Sadly in my opinion Anna gave him this power, and he used it against her in the most despicable, debased way there ever was. He knew she loved him very much and just wanted a happy home, he also knew he did not want a happy home nor a family, but he did want to leave the country Nigeria and she was an easy way to achieve that. All the time Anna was slaving away and working with a high risk pregnancy, David had thousands of dollars on him that he had got soliciting and begging in Nigeria from friends and family. He never bought his ticket himself, because Anna bought it online; so he kept all that money and Anna never knew. His daughter was not expected to live, but he had the heart or lack thereof to leave her there to die because what David wanted and needed was more important than what a little baby who was forced into the world through his brutal beating on her mother; would ever need. You see we don’t like to admit in Africa that there are mental illnesses amongst our people, instead we blame relatives and the general world around us. Let’s admit it! David Ihua from his behavioural patterns and accounts by people who knew them, within the 11yrs of being with Anna displayed signs and traits and actions of a SOCIOPATH! He lied, cheated, stole, pretended, faked tears, illnesses, made up stories and used violence when he didn’t get his way and generally acted out of the norms of society to please himself. For those of you reading this who know him, be honest, he did it to you too, either by lying to get money out of you, OR lying to make a situation look better from his point of view. It always had to be about him!! If this was not an act of a sociopath…I don’t know what is…the worst part of it all? He never got arrested for his actions, how sad is that?…the writer.)
LIFE AFTER VIOLENCE
Her daughter had to live! Anna told herself and God everything had to be done for Tamara to live, so her suffering was not in vain. She begged the doctors to do everything they could, she prayed every single day for her baby, she cried and asked God not to abandon them, she was in so much despair, but she believed! She believed that God gave Tamara to her for a reason and asked him to fulfill HIS word in her daughter’s life.
The baby and Anna as well as Diamond their son spent the next 90 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of Holy cross hospital in Silver Spring, MD. David never set foot in there to see or ask about their sick child. He ignored all calls from Anna about the children even when it was a medical emergency. He claimed she was only trying to use the children to get to him.
During this time, they lost their apartment. How you may ask? Foolishly, Anna had David sign the lease in his name and he refused to pay the rent when she was at the hospital, so they were evicted and their things dumped outside. David sent someone, Montaga Keita, to collect his clothes and papers from Anna, refusing to go himself to her. Mayhap it was because he did not want to be faced with the wreckage he had caused in 3 people’s lives you may say? Or did not want to see the daughter that he had deliberately forced out before her time who was suffering under tubes, surgeries and all manners of pain. Tamara was born with skeletal deformities and serious respiratory distress because it was not her time to come out of her mother’s womb. After 3 months in the hospital she still weighed only 2.6kg. Anna reached out to Soky Lawson several times whilst she was in hospital, asking him to tell his friend to send money for the rent, for the hospital bills, for surgeries, no matter how small. At one point he said to her “ is this why you are calling me every time?” okay let me send you a little money”. And she told him, “I am not married to you, I am not your responsibility and David is the one who needs to send me money”.
When Tamara was a bit stronger and they were discharged from hospital( a child the doctors did not think would survive but God worked his miracle and showed Anna he was God almighty and never should be doubted) Anna asked the Montgomery county court to force David, to give her some money for the kids. The judge entered an amount of $400 for both children. David sent $200 ONCE (in Dec. 2005) and never sent any more money again.
Please check this link:
http//casesearch.courts.stat.md.us/casesearch/. Accept the terms and conditions, continue.
Last name: Ihua.
First name: David
(You see David had threatened Anna to report her to the authorities for being an illegal immigrant and he would get her deported, Anna was worried that he would do it, and because Tamara needed expert care, she had to back off. Evil, cold and mean would you say? I would!!! Not a care for what happened to his 2 children, how they ate, if they had a roof over their heads or if they died…this is a classic case of 1st Timothy 5:8)
By April of the next year, (2006), David filed taxes on both children, claiming he was their primary caregiver. He was awarded over $5000 in both federal and state tax refunds. Since then, he has filed every year with Anna’s children’s names. This is fraud at its height. When asked about it by the authorities in a letter David claimed the children were with him. (What I found beyond shocking was how he could claim tax returns on his daughter that he was now openly denying was his, this was the lowest of the low even for him). He cut off his family and even hired lawyers to threaten to deport Anna if she contacted him again.
Life became a living nightmare for her and the children. An illegal immigrant woman with a sick child and a six year old son, they had no home, no car, no job, and no money. With the help of new church friends and a few others, Anna moved to Georgia with the children and ultimately back home to Nigeria. At least there she would get the support she needed in terms of taking care of the kids whilst she worked to provide for them, as we all know Anna was never afraid of working and earning her own money, she assumed wrongly though that David would at least take care of his children.
The next time Anna saw David was in 2011. This meant that she had been taking care of the children all by herself for all of Tamara’s life and let’s face it, even their son, Diamond’s as well. You see even in the U.S when they lived together Anna would give David money and say to him please buy so and so on your way back home for Diamond. We now know David had money with him in America but he never spent money on his son whilst they lived together.
One would think the way David ran away like a spineless chicken, he would stay away and move on with his life. He has refused to do so it would seem. Apparently over the years David would get in touch with Anna and for the children’s sakes and needs she would converse with him and ask that he contribute to their welfare. She also told him he needed to build a relationship with them, so they do not suffer the same fate he told her he had suffered with his own father. She even went as far as taking Diamond to try and see his grandfather (David’s dad) but they were not allowed in. This was in 2008. (David told his son later on, that he instructed his people not to let them in). David Ihua could not be bothered with all of that. He has to do what selfishly pleases only him and damn all the consequences. What he forgets though, is that actions have consequences and life as it always does plays its own games on us.
In April 2010, Diamond had an accident at home and had a huge gash on his head. He was rushed to the hospital and was admitted and had bled so much the little boy passed out. They had to give him 12 stitches on his forehead. When he was stabilized, Diamond took it upon himself to call his dad to help with his hospital bills, because he knew how tough things were at the time. David told his 9 year old son, to take a picture of his head injury and send to him with the doctor’s report before he can send any money. David never called back.
In 2011, David came to Nigeria. Anna was out with the kids when her mum called her and told her she needed to head home immediately because David was there with about 10 of his relatives. Anna’s mother welcomed him and gave him a hug (unbelievably after everything he had done to her daughter, because she is that warm) Anna called her brothers and asked them to meet her at her house, before she proceeded home. On getting to the house, she says David and his family which consisted of 2 of his brothers and his sister Victoria, his uncles and others were there. David refused to speak with Anna, but proceeded to hug his daughter and shook his son’s hand. (This was weird considering he denies her paternity to others, but never denies her paternity to Anna’s face) they all begin to take pictures of the kids and it seemed like they were on a fact finding mission and not there to properly get to know the children. It is amazing how his daughter whom he has denied several times to all kinds of people looks like a twin to his sister Victoria. Please see pictures below:
David and his daughter in 2011. This is the beautiful child David left for dead in 2005 /// Victoria and her niece Tamara in 2011.
David and his son in 2011.
Anna’s twin brothers came over and asked David what he was there to do and why he even came. David claimed he came to see his children, and the twins said “Go and find them where you left them in America, go and look for them there”. They walked him out of the house (rightly so, after the atrocities he had committed against their sister) Victoria, David’s sister, asked Anna if she could speak with her outside. Anna went with her, and Victoria asked her if she could give Diamond the clothes they had bought for him. Anna said if she asked the family inside and they agreed, then yes she could. It was ironic, or sad in my opinion that when they brought out the clothes, they were clothes that were for a 6-8yr old and at the time Diamond was 12years old. David didn’t even know how old his son was to know how to shop for him. Please note that nothing was bought for Tamara that day. The elders inside the house now tried to explain that David’s father (chief Peter Ihua) says he would like to know his grandkids and meet them. The twins said “well, tell him to come here to see them and not send emissaries, do things in the proper manner if his intentions were to apologise for his horrible behaviour”. David never came back to the house. The next day he sent clothes for Tamara, but Anna rejected the clothes because she couldn’t understand why he didn’t bring them himself the day before, probably because he thought he would meet an abnormal looking child, so didn’t bother with her at the time. After this visit David began to call his kids and even told Diamond that he would send him papers so that he would come to America. Anna was not told a whiff of this. When she found out, she began to wonder why David was doing this and why he was focusing solely on Diamond not Tamara. Anna re-enforced to David the need to send upkeep money for the children, he kept saying he has no money, has no job and that when he does he will send some.
Anna also sent mails reaching out to David’s sister Victoria via Facebook but never got any replies from Victoria.
Anna had to stop communication between David and the children because he was disrupting their routine and peace of mind with all the tales of journeying to America and all sorts of lies, as she knew he wouldn’t fulfill them.
|DAVID’S MONETARY EXPENDITURE SINCE HE MET ANNA||ANNA’S MONETARY EXPENDITURE SINCE SHE MET DAVID|
|Nothing was spent on Anna from when they met until he left her. Unless you count one birthday card in 2002. oh! but he wrote lots of poems where he promised to love her forever.(rubbish)||From the minute he moved into her room in school, she took over his welfare.
expensive phone calls to Victoria in London
(no cell phones in Nigeria at the time)
|2006- He was ordered by the courts to pay $200 per child which would be $400, and he paid $200 once and never again.||Anna paid for passport, his visa, and required medicals to obtain the visa.
Required police report, his tickets for both local and international flights until he arrived in America
|2010- Soky Lawson sent N50k ($150) towards Diamonds school fees. He said it was on behalf of David and that was all.||She paid rent in their two bedroom flat until he ran away.
She bought all the food, supplies, transportation, and paid the bills
|2011- A friend of David’s, Tobin paid school fees for Diamond and not for Tamara, but Tobin said it was his money he used and David was supposed to pay him back.||Anna has been taking care of their 2 children all by herself, up till this day|
|2012- David was caught on the tax fraud he was claiming on the kids. Almost two years later, a strange woman who claimed to live on the next street brought N170k ($800) and said it was from David to cover the monies he had been stealing.||Tamara’s education and medical bills from when she was born (prematurely) by her father’s wickedness and carelessness until now.
TOTALLING $74,000 (SEVENTY FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS) AND AN ADDITIONAL $4,000 (FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS) FOR THE CEASAREAN BIRTH OF TAMARA.
|Diamonds schooling and medical bills from birth, pre-nursery, nursery until secondary (high) school, which he has now graduated from.|
|All holidays and trips so far taken by them, she has borne on her own.|
|When Diamond was in hospital and was seriously injured, after David told him to take pictures and a doctor’s report to send before he sent money. She paid the bills all by herself, which included follow up visits.|
|Anna has judiciously taken care of her children without fear of providing for them, because that’s what a mother does. She has never run away from her responsibilities. She has never regretted having these 2 beautiful children.|
|TOTAL: In all of his children’s lives he has spent N220k ($1,000) + $200 PAID BACK IN 2005||TOTAL: Seriously??? You do the math. It is uncountable, insurmountable and totally beyond quantifying. Then again there’s no price on a mothers LOVE!!!.|
Later that year Tamara had to go to the U.S. She had follow up medical tests that still needed to be done on her heart. When Tamara got to America, she stayed with Rosemary. Rosemary rightly filed for tax refunds to be able to help in taking care of Tamara. The IRS sent her a letter stating that someone else had already filed. She was beyond shocked and so was Anna. Now Anna immediately called David and openly asked him, “did you file for tax refunds with my children’s names” and David immediately said to her “calm down calm down…ehn I needed the money so I filed” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had endured so much because of this man, had left America because of this man, had suffered indignities, ridicule and be laughed at by her family and friends because of this man; and here he was again still trying to STEAL from her and her children. She had asked him for years for upkeep for the kids and he always said he had no job, and no money, she had asked him to be part of the children’s lives and he never seemed to have the time. Though he seemed to have the time to STEAL from his own kids, and getting money from the U.S government that his children needed for school fees, roof over their heads and clothes and food. David Ihua again proved to be the greatest disappointment there ever was in his role as a father.
Anna accused him of stealing and he begged her to calm down and he would send “some” of the money, she said “no David not “some,” but all of it, it doesn’t belong to you and the kids need it to survive”. Two years after that conversation, Anna received a small fraction of the tax payout. (laughable wouldn’t you say?. The thing is though it seems like Anna finally woke up and like a lioness was intent on protecting her cubs). Suffice to say that David has filed taxes on both children since 2006 to date, claiming himself as their sole provider.
It would seem that David Ihua is now basically trying to harass Anna and the children or is there something more sinister going on? There have been people in Anna’s neighborhood who are constantly taking pictures of the kids as they go to and from school. David also boasted to a mutual friend, Izehi, that he has people sending him pictures of the kids whenever he wants them. 10 year old Tamara, views this as an act of aggravated stalking, and invasion of their privacy.
(I wonder why David would want these pictures, when he can very easily build an honest relationship with his kids? I wonder why he cannot be a man, and just own up to the mess he has created and walk the path towards healing for everyone involved? I know why. He doesn’t believe he has done anything wrong, and until he gets medical help for his mental instability, he will in all fairness probably never develop an honest relationship with anyone, much less his own children.)
According to Izehi, David said “i want to have a relationship with my kids only if Anna is not in the picture” Anna has taken that statement as a threat to her life. Ultimately he committed the greatest atrocity towards his kids… he tried to steal his son away.
In late 2013, David was in Nigeria and in the city of Port Harcourt, this became apparent because he went for a neighbor’s wedding (Disere and Domo), where he saw Anna’s mum and was rude to her at the wedding. He was in town and hadn’t seen his children and he was less than two streets away. Later on he went to the children’s school and tried to KIDNAP Diamond. Diamond spoke with me about that day. This is his account of events.
Diamond says Mr. Chris (the vice principal) called him one day from class, he was in SS2 (11TH GRADE) at the time; and said to him “your dad is here”. Diamond says he wondered what they were talking about, because he hadn’t heard from his dad for years now and told Mr. Chris so. He said “well your dad is here and wants to see you”. He was taken to the vice principals office in the Admin building. Diamond walked in and saw David, who came towards him and shook his hand and commented saying “you are even taller than me now”. He very quickly showed Diamond documents stating that he could come with him to America now. Diamond said he was already upset with him and asked “how about my sister and my mum?” to which David replied “your sister will be fine and I don’t need permission from your mum”. Diamond said well “I am not going to leave my mum, besides where have you been all this time that you come now and say you want me to go with you to America?” He reminded David of the visit he made with his mum in 2008 where they were not allowed into his grandfather’s compound. David replied “yes I told them not to let you both in because your mum has been banned from my family”. At this point Diamond starts yelling at David and asked him where he was when he hurt his head in 2010 and needed money to be treated and he was told to send a picture? David could not answer to this. The vice principal said to Diamond you need to stop yelling at your father, and David said to the vice principal “oh let my son be, he gets his temper from me”. This further infuriated Diamond and he yelled out loud “I WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU” he insisted that David show the documents to his mother before anything else. Tamara was brought into the office and she was scared because she had never seen her older brother shout so loud. She initially went and hugged him, but when Diamond kept yelling, Tamara curled up under the table in the office out of fear. Diamond told the school to get rid of David and that he didn’t want to see him. The school belatedly realized the kids were visibly upset and asked David to leave. David said to Diamond, “Your grandfather is outside, he wants to see you”. His son said to him, “I will not see him without my mother present”. David told the principal of the school not to let Anna know of his visit to the school. He was finally escorted out of the school premises, as Diamond took his sister back to her class. He said to me that shockingly that same evening he went out to buy something and David was standing right outside the compound, just watching him. In his words to me “it was very, very weird and a bit scary because he didn’t look normal just standing there”.
I asked Diamond to tell me how he really felt about his father and the way things have been thus far, and this was what he said to me….”I don’t know him, not really. He has called a few times, but has never been there when my sister and I really need him and he doesn’t even have a relationship with Tamara. What kind of man abandons his family? His children? I have made a vow to myself to never ever be like him, and to do right by my children, when I have them because I don’t ever want to be like him…”( I won’t lie, I cried hearing a 16year old speak about the man who fathered him with so much contempt. Hearing from him what it felt like all this time, I couldn’t understand why David could not separate his children from whatever issues he had with Anna.)
Anna let David into the house that same evening when he came over. Apparently he had been waiting for the kids outside the house. She didn’t know what he had tried to do in school and let him see the children. He came in and spoke with the kids and told them he is here now to take care of them and that he can see that their mum has done a great job with them but all they need to do is give him 18 months to put his act together and come back to be a real father to them. Anna told the kids to go in the room because she needed to speak with their dad. She said to him “David we have been apart for years now and it is clear we are done. It is your children you need to take care of, and stop trying to avoid it all. They need a father figure and you need to step in to fill your role as a father. She spoke for over 40minutes on behalf of her children. David eventually says to her “you are right! Everything you have said is true, I am even tired of running around Anna, I know I have to step up and play my role and I intend to now moving forward. I remember everything you sacrificed for me. You are a good mother. You see, my dad and I are now trying to get into business and in fact I will soon move back to Nigeria and I will be more available to them”. He eventually left.
David and his kids in 2013
Before David left the house, he asked for a piece of paper on which he wrote his email, address, and phone number. He told the children to call him if they want to. He never offered them a phone, money for phone, or calling card, NOTHING. Just this piece of paper along with his father’s (Chief Peter Ihua) business card. A few hours later, David called Anna’s phone and asked to speak with his son. According to his son, David told him to call the number on the business card anytime he wanted to leave home. In Diamonds words, “my dad asked me to not tell my mum about it and if I decide to leave, I should just call the number, and a driver would come pick me up. He said I don’t need my mum’s permission for that”
The only thing he left for his children in 2013 was this note and his father’s business card.
Anna was told by the kids later that night what happened in school and she was shocked and worried not understanding how or why David would have done that. She called the school because they had been lax in protecting her children and they apologized profusely also telling her that David had instructed them not to say anything to her because in his words, “she is quite violent and would make life impossible for them”. Diamond corroborated this story because he says David also told him not to tell his mum about any of what he had told him about, the so-called immigration papers and anything they had discussed or that he had even been in his school.
Less than a week later, Anna was approached by a friend who lived nearby and the lady said to her “my son and i have something to tell you, we think it’s important”. It turns out David had been around at least 2 weeks before he went to Diamond’s school and had surreptitiously gotten someone to bring one of Diamonds friends over to where he was. The young teenager was asked all kinds of questions in a room full of over 9 strangers. He was told by David to relax and not be afraid, but he wanted him to answer some questions about his friend Diamond. He asked him if Diamond would come over if he (the friend) called him. He also asked what school Diamond went to. He asked him what Diamond likes to do and where he normally goes. David was technically stalking his son. Anna at this point had had enough. David called a few weeks after he left and he would say hello to Anna and then ask direct questions like, “when did you guys leave the U.S? “What mailing address in the U.S can i use for you?” Anna didn’t give him the answers, but David also called a mutual friend Ejiro to get him to ask Anna when they left America. Ejiro couldn’t understand why David wanted this information, but he called Anna and let her know what David asked him to get off her. After a while it was clear to Anna that David was not up to anything good, and decided to stop picking his calls. She did ask him to stop feeding Diamond lies and telling him he would take him to America. She asked him “who just walks up to the embassy and tells them he is going to see his father and they will give him a visa?” without documents or mothers knowledge and consent?? “Where is that done David? You need to stop lying to these kids and tell them the truth, it’s time for you to be responsible and man up!”
HOLIDAYS WITH THE KIDS
The kids had a swell time on this trip with their mother, paid for by their mother, without any regrets for loving her children unconditionally. It is clear they are doing great, despite what David would obviously have liked, they are not disabled, hungry, or dead. They are living proof that he is a failure as a husband, father and provider. They are also a legacy for Anna, because through her and by the special grace of God the Almighty, these children are growing emotionally, mentally and physically healthy. Can we have 3 hearty cheers for this indefatigable woman, who just never gave up despite everything she suffered at the hands of another human being, who let’s be honest, should not ideally be living amongst society.
MOVING AWAY FROM DAVID IHUA
Anna took drastic measures after this incident. She spoke with her children and after they had agreed, she officially changed their surname to her father’s surname. Anna said to me, she thought about it long and hard. She had been slaving away for these kids, paying all their school fees, taking care of them to the best of her ability and she had sacrificed everything for them. Every time she tried to foster a relationship with David and his family for the children’s sakes, she had been rebuffed at every turn by him and his family. She realised she couldn’t continue like this as she and her children had been rejected enough by them. It was time to move forward on a clean slate, time to let go of all the baggage, time for her to face reality and make sure her children would never be hurt by David or his family ever again. She officially changed their names.
The one thing she did ask David for was the divorce papers he said he had. She has still not gotten one up until today. They are unfortunately still legally married. You cannot divorce someone when they haven’t signed the papers. Anna has never been served papers concerning any divorce proceedings or made aware of any divorce decree. Anna would really like to sign those papers you see, because she is finally free of anything and everything concerning David Ihua.
So if anyone who knows him is reading this, please ask him to send the divorce papers to Anna as soon as he can, and she will sign it immediately. This would mean though that he would have to file for the divorce here in Nigeria, since that’s where they got married in the 1st place.
When I look at this true life story, I feel so many emotions, ranging from anger, pain, annoyance, compassion, solidarity, love, and triumph. The greatest emotion for me is TRIUMPH. Anna was foolish to have thought David would become a better man, foolish to have had so much faith in him, foolish to have believed he would be better, because from Day 1, there were so many inconsistences surrounding this fellow and she just didn’t see them. People around her saw it, her friends, her family, even acquaintances. When people can see a character flaw or several character flaws in an individual, then it really must be there. He was a sponge living off her, sucking out her life essence and using her for every last drop of her sweat and love. She was a young, impressionable girl who just could not see how one could be used so mercilessly by another.
Is it just me, or can you deduce that beyond it all, she is also quite resilient. The test of a resilient person is not the challenges you face, but how you deal with them as they come to you….
Which is why she may have stayed as long as she did, taking into consideration our societal norms and values in Africa. She forged through the hopelessness and despair, through the beatings and insults and attack on her mentally, through the helpless state she was in when her daughter was born and survived. She came back to Nigeria and with the help of her family (because family really is everything) she thrived and now, yes! She has TRIUMPHED. She may have been foolish in the beginning, she may have been gullible, she may have even been hopelessly holding out on an unachievable dream with David…but she woke up!!! She fought to SURVIVE. She worked hard, and yes!!! She TRIUMPHED.
I have no doubt that David tried to kill her that fateful day on the 12th of August 2005. We now know how Nigerian men are killing their wives in the U.S. I have no doubts that David had horrible plans for Anna, and because he thought she was his mugu (idiot) for life, he didn’t think she would escape that day. That threw him off his game, so he ran far far away.
David Ihua is a COWARD. He is a despicable scum, who would rather beat, try to break and intimidate a woman, use, abuse and treat her like a piece of rubbish, because he is a bully and a sociopath. Anna and her family let him get away with so much for too long, he should have been arrested in university when he hit her the 1st time. He should have been beaten by her twin brothers several times to be taught a severe lesson. (Jungle justice at its finest). He should have been strangulated by one of them, to enjoy how it feels to strangulate a person, he should have been left for 3 hours to bleed from body wounds and let’s see how he enjoys it. His money should have been stolen, taken away from him, used in dubious ways and he should have been lied to. Just to understand a fraction of what he did to Anna. None of this ever happened to David, sadly.
There’s a story going round which David is telling anyone willing to hear, that Anna’s brothers beat him up. I wish they had, they wish they had, but they never did. David Ihua is a consummate liar, thief, and scam artist. He is a predator and sucks the life out of anything good. It behooves anyone who reads this to take a 2nd look at him and the relationship they may have with him, be it business, friendship or whatever. You see people like these are self-destructive, and when it is time for it all to go up in smoke, it will be a spectacular thing to watch as David will implode and burn down everyone around him. He is great at twisting stories around, lying out right, making up imaginary stories, all in the bid to make himself look good, or as a victim as the scenario may deem fit, or for monetary gain or for you to feel sorry for him. Ultimately it MUST ALWAYS BE ABOUT HIM.
My advice…you don’t want to be embroiled in his web when the implosion will take place, because this man is bound to self-destruct sooner rather than later.
A little word just for David…GROW UP!!!, be a REAL man and take care of your responsibilities, which include your children who share your DNA no matter how you run away from it and pretend they don’t exist. Stop lying about Anna not giving you access to them, when in truth you have been running away from shouldering your responsibilities. Tell the truth, you are a loser who used and abused Anna and would rather besmirch her name to make yourself seem like a great guy when you are not. Everyone knows how useless you are, they just are not telling you sadly; is it Izehi who can’t see what you are doing to your children? Or Tonye who caught you being a peadophile with Tina? Or Victor who was there when you beat up Anna, or Mr. Ben, the landlord at her place who watched you with the hordes of women you were sleeping with, or friends of yours who tried to warn Anna all those years ago, or the people who saw you beat her up several times? Look inward David and admit it to yourself, you need to see a psychologist, from the stories you have told about your family abandoning you, to your mum and grand mum dying, to abandoning your sister and mum, to generally running away from anything that would require effort. Get HELP!!! You may never grow up, you may never admit the criminal, physical and emotional harm you caused Anna, you may never admit to others how you would beg her, cry in front of her and others not to do it again, plead for her not to leave you because she was all you had, but don’t you worry…life will tell the story. Your children will tell the story, posterity will tell the story.
In the meantime please send the divorce papers so that Anna can really and truly wipe your existence from her life. She is no longer your mugu (idiot) David, she was freed and saved from you by God Almighty.
I only wish Anna had wised up sooner, because it would have meant that David would have never at least through Anna gotten to America, he is already committing tax fraud, stealing his children’s monies, he is already lying and stealing in that country. He is already lying that he is divorced, when no papers have ever been served to Anna, so if there are any signed documents it’s a forgery. David needs to send Anna the divorce papers to sign and he should not be afraid because she doesn’t want a penny from him anymore. What he owes her though, is the tax monies he did steal from her children, that he needs to pay back pronto!
Anna is FREE!!! Anna survived David Ihua, Anna has a fruitful life, she wanted her kids to know their dad, but would you in all honesty want to claim this kind of man as your father??? Certainly not. So, those kids are better off without him, better off without his toxic personality, characteristics, duplicity and wickedness. Life has a way of playing out for us all, it is called the “law of karma”. I guarantee you all that David will get what’s coming to him, because he will either mess with the wrong woman someday, or get arrested and jailed for all the scams he is constantly pulling.
To all the readers, remember at the beginning of this story I begged you to finish it? Please advice any little girl you know, be it your sister, niece, cousin, daughter, friends daughter and friends in general…. To look very closely before they leap!!! Clearly there are predators out there, who will destroy their lives, if they are not careful and pay attention to certain behavioural patterns.
I feel triumph because Anna is finally free. Thank you God!!!
…………………… Ofure Aburime