Dear bro. Fuston,
Osinachi is my name but my friends call me O.C. I am a student of Templegate Polytechnic Aba, Abia State.
I have been reading your column and I enjoy how you treat problems associated with relationships.
I have a problem and I don’t know how to go about it. The truth is that I have a boyfriend and I can say I love him. He has been assisting me even in payment of some fees in my school. We have been dating since two years now, but recently, I met a man who is a widower and he has a son, this man is so caring and can pamper a woman to a fault.
My boyfriend is asking me to marry him, likewise this widower. My confusion is that, yes, my boyfriend is younger than the widower and has also been good to me, but my fear is that he is very handsome, sometimes girls chase him and on two occasions, he had given in to their advances.
I feel more secure in the hands of the widower: he is more mature and affectionate. But my challenge is if I can cope with the presence of his son now and in the future. Again, I wouldn’t know if my people will accept that I marry a man that was married and has a son.
Direct me, O.C from Aba.
Your situation needs prudence. You must be painstaking in your choice because you painted pictures of two likeable men.
You are the only one that can make the choice between the two men, but in assisting you to make the choice, I will suggest that you write down all that you love about these men and your dislike about them. Scale your likes and dislikes about them, I think this method will bring you closer to the one you love more, since it is obvious that you cannot love two people equally.
One’s family is a big factor in the choice of marriage partner and I suggest that you do not look down on this.
If you also think that you cannot manage the presence of a step-son, then back down on the widower.
But do not lose sight of the fact that maturity is a sine qua non in any marriage that must succeed, while infidelity at any level in marriage can wreak havoc.
A mature man can hold his family against all odds. Also bear in mind that the widower did not bring the death of his wife upon himself, it can happen to anyone.
Prayer can also help in making the needed choice here, so you must pray. Once again, look at their qualities, who amongst these two is Godlier? That person perhaps should be your husband. Have a lovely weekend.