Dear Bro Fuston,
My story is a shameful one and I am aware of it. I am scared to my marrows because if my husband gets to hear or know about it, then I am finished. My greatest worry is not the disaffection or enemity it will cause between him and his elder brother but what will become of me and my children if eventually he knows about it and throws me out in the streets.
I am using a name that is not mine, so I beg you to use the fake name or better do not include any name in my story.
I seek your advice because from the way things are going my husband has started suspecting that something serious is troubling me and I have tried my best to cover up but I know that the lies and cover up may someday turn against me.
I have taught of who to go to for assistance until recently when I came across some ladies with a copy of your newspaper discussing a topic in your column. That was in a hair dressing salon and I quietly copied your contact with the aim of asking for your help regarding my troubled spirit.
Please, hear my story and do not turn your back on me, help me save my marriage and also save me from the grip of an amorous and devilish brother in-law. Nothing will ever make me engage in cheating against my husband if I am shown a peaceful way to solve my present problems.
My problem began last two years, a particular night that I joined a date in his car to a lonely path where we stayed kissing and caressing in the car.
I never knew that this my brother in-law saw me when I entered the car, he followed us quietly and caught us almost naked in the car.
He dragged me into his own car and threatened to tell my husband and other family members. I begged him profusely but he accepted my plea on one condition, which is that I should avail my body to him for sex anytime he wants it.
I was shocked when he said this, but because I was in a fix and had no option, I accepted and since that time he has been having me to his fill without minding how I feel about the whole thing.
I have stopped seeing the man he caught me with but he is the problem I am facing at the moment.
He is holding me by the jugular because he has nothing to lose, he divorced his wife four years ago and since then has been living his life the way he likes and nobody queries him.
He is mean and conscienceless, the worst now is that he calls me out at odd times and my husband has become suspicious of my movements.
There is no week that this wicked man does not force me to have sex with him, I have applied all means known to me to stop him but to no avail.
He has no shame and cannot be disturbed even if I open up on what we are doing to my husband.
I am feed up and do not want to continue living under his chains, I never liked him and would not start liking him now, the whole thing is tormenting me, but my problem is how to remove this devil incarnate from my life. I don’t want to shed blood, I would have poisoned him long ago.
What do I do please?
Benny in Owerri
You fetched ant infested fire wood and that is the reason why you are playing host to a community of lizard.
Adultery is an unwholesome practice and the consequences are grave, it can ruin an individual, marriages and can set communities at war.
You are not justified in any way because from all indications you were not forced into this adulterous life by the first man. You willingly decided to walk in this perdicious way and you have yourself to blame.
Yes, you should blame yourself for your woes because you brought it upon yourself and every wrong doing has a punishment attached to it.
Sin can only give birth to sin in trying to cover up from your adulterous sin with the first man you now enter into another sin. I thank God you are not contemplating killing your brother in-law who is now a terror to you, if you try anything funny you will still not be at peace with yourself. You may also look for a way to cover up and it continues, before you know it, you are deluded, this is the worst state of every human being, so avoid it.
Your case is bad because the man you are dealing with I mean your so called brother in-law from what you told me has nothing to lose, not even his integrity. I have seen he has none to protect.
The best for you my dear is not to be tied to this man’s apron strings, you must liberate yourself from his chains. Don’t wait till your husband who is now suspicious of your movement finds out the truth himself, the truth sets the mind at peace, it liberates one from every slavery.
If you think your husband cannot handle the issue properly, then bring in a clergy who can talk to this brother in-law of yours, this I think may not fail, but if it does then your husband must be informed, tell him all that happened and pray him to forgive you with a promise never to do that again. This is difficult but then that is the way for absolute peace.