Dear Bro Fuston,
I can conveniently refer to you as a “Heart” Doctor, you are doing very well to calm many frayed nerves in relationships, thank you.
I am committed to a relationship that has taken so much from me, as it is I don’t know the exact thing to do.
Almost all that know about our relationship think it is a matter of time for us to be legally pronounced husband and wife.
I am loved by her parents, uncles, brothers and sisters, she is equally loved by everyone in my family, not even my mum who has chased many of my female friends away from me for reasons that are not tangible.
We have known ourselves for about eighteen months running and I have gone with my people to meet her own family on March 16 this year on the way forward to our wedding.
I am doing my best to present the true situation in this whole thing so that you can place your advice appropriately.
I love her beyond imagination, I can do every legitimate thing to keep her, she meets my standard of a lovely wife, but now I am scared.
My fears for the future and the outcome of what I recently discovered about her, if we eventually get married is the reason for this letter to you.
Recently, I saw a love text message sent to her by the girl she proposed to be her maid of honour during our wedding and I felt nothing about it because they have been very close friends even before we met each other, but I never knew that both of them are bed mates.
I got transferred from Port Harcourt to Enugu not too long and my wife to be came visiting. After one week of staying together with me, her friend called and indicated interest to visit us for some days here in Enugu and we happily asked her to come.
She has stayed for two days with us, and on the third day, I forgot to pick my ATM card to work and needed to buy things before the close of work that day.
I rushed to the house for it and to my greatest shock, when I pushed the door open I saw my woman and her friend seriously kissing and fondling themselves, they were naked and engrossed in the act that they never knew when I came closer to the sofa where they are.
The most painful and annoying aspect of the whole thing is that she is insisting that our marriage cannot be disturbed by her relationship with the friend, in fact she sees nothing wrong with that, maintaining that the affair is with a fellow woman and not a man.
I am ashamed of telling anyone this. Do you think my marriage with her will work?
Michael in Enugu.
Surprisingly our society is gradually tilting towards destruction, acts considered as heinous and sacrilegious in the past, are now advanced as a norm, not only by the youths but these days by some adults.
Our society is becoming too permissive and if nothing is done now, the destruction will engulf all.
Sexual relationship is only permitted between a man and his wife, anything outside this is forbidden and that is why God ordained it that marriage should be between a man and a woman.
Therefore, it is cheating on the part of any partner in a relationship, who leaves the other partner and involves in any sexual affair with another man or woman.
Involving in a sexual relationship with her girl friend can be seen as cheating and is enough for you to terminate whatever affair you hold with her.
Such act if not checked, can in the future jeopardize sexual happiness in marriage and can also divert her attentions from you the husband.
Make frantic effort to scrub her mind off this abnormal and abominable life style, it could be she is ignorant of the dangers in what she is doing.
Make her understand that sex is the exclusive right of a man and a woman who are joined in Holy Matrimony by God.
Diligently and rightly do your best to win back your love, if she understands that her act is wickedness on you and God and shows remorse, move on with your intentions on marriage.
If she refuses to change and quit from the shameful act, then you don’t have an option but to work out of the affair and find yourself a decent and suitable spouse.
Once again the steps to take are to bring her to a table of discussion, gently make her understand that the path she is treading is odiously sinful.
Finally, if it is possible try and detach her from that friend of hers, if indeed her presence in your girl’s life is posing threat to your intending marriage. Be careful and happy weekend.