He was my younger sister’s ex-boy friend

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Hi Bro Fuston,

I would want you to spare me a space in your column and address my worry.

I met a guy about four months ago here in Umuahia and we became intimate friends, the guy from all indications is nice, he can light up a dull environment with his humour, an outstanding quality I like about him.

He has a very good dress sense and knows how to pet a woman. He is my dream man, this is the truth and nothing but the truth.

We are age mates, it’s just that he was born April while I was born in July of the same year.

We have been getting on fine but recently, he is putting up funny attitudes that piss me off. Last month he discovered that my immediate younger sister Clara was his ex-lover.

He has not said anything to me except his recent actions but from what my sister told me, they met in the orientation camp at Jigawa State three years ago and became friends, it was at the twilight of their service year that they broke up.

My sister visited me from Abuja and I took her to his house only to discover that they were ex-lovers.

Bro Fuston, I love this guy dearly, but I cannot date a guy that my immediate younger sister first had an affair with. Is it not an insult? Won’t this reduce Clara’s respect for me? Coupled with the fact that this guy is gradually changing, do I go ahead and date him? Or try hard to delete him from mind?

I am full of worries now. Please assist me to move in the right direction before I encounter regrets.

Nnedinma

Hi Nnedinma,

You did not come out clear on the reason why this guy broke up with your sister.

Based on this I will not be the one to condemn a man you did not condemn but praised.

Yes, you praised him by saying that from all indications he is nice. I am aware that every rational person would want to identify with whoever is nice.

It could be that providence brought you together with this humour-maker for a purpose that may benefit you two. After all you never knew that he was your younger sister’s ex-lover before falling in love with him.

I think that after the break-up, the young man moved on with his life and coincidentally your paths crossed. It could be also that your sister moved on and may be into another relationship now.

They weren’t married, were they?

How you carry yourself before your sister is what will earn you her respect and not a past you weren’t part of. Find out why the guy is acting funny. Speak with him to feel his pulse.

It is important for you to know what led to the break-up with your sister.

Arming yourself with this will help you immensely in taking the right decision.

I wish you the best.

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