My husband is impotent

Dear Bro Fuston,

I feel sad telling you about the problem I have been facing in my marriage for more than two years now.

It is so painful and has become very unbearable to the extent that I now blame the deaconess in our church that match-made us for my woes.

How can a woman be married for two years plus without enjoying sex for even one day?

 

I still want to know if this is what marriage is all about. I heeded to the doctrine of the church that a man and woman cannot have sexual intercourse until they are officially united in holy Matrimony.

My obedience is the cause of my whole problem today. I have been enduring but I think it is useless staying in this marriage, because nothing pleases me in the whole arrangement.

I never knew that the man I blindly married in the name of obeying church doctrine is totally impotent.

He is not the type that could be managed. His manhood is small, his erection is very poor and what comes out of his body, doctors confirmed it cannot make a woman pregnant.

What else will a woman be doing in a man’s house when the man cannot merely scratch your body not to talk of making you have it to your satisfaction and also cannot impregnate you.

I have fallen out of love with him. I now see the marriage as one shrouded in deceit. I now feel it was arranged by my husband’s people and the very deaconess that introduced him to me.

He is handsome, zealous of God’s work, generous and humble, but as it is I don’t notice any of those qualities again and do not see any reason why I must remain in this boring relationship.

I have been battling the idea of walking out but presently it seems overwhelming.

I have once committed adultery because of his inability to keep hold on me. I never liked that, but the temptation and willingness to continue is increasing by the day due to my hubby’s weakness.

I believe it is better to leave his house and thereafter present myself for marriage to a man I can build a lasting home with.

The truth is that I don’t find happiness in this sexless marriage anymore.

How long do I wait for a man that has been certified medically unfit to father a child when I have been given a clean bill of health?

I am only 24 years and hopefully would marry a virile man that can make me hear the cries of my own biological children.

My husband is talking about adoption of two children but I have been wondering why I should opt for adoption of babies when I am 100% fertile to have my own children.

It is a polite way of putting me in prison. The worst is that men don’t bear the shame of childlessness but the woman who will be called countless names and will be accused of killing all the babies in her womb through abortions.

I am still shocked at why this problem must come to me. I earnestly want solution please, assist me.

Rita

 

Dear Rita,

Your case is unfortunate and I must tell you that my heart bleeds for you.

Some people hide under the cloak of their church doctrine to engage in the wrong act.

Your husband should have made known his health status to you before your union.

You also would have before now insisted on seeing some health workers together to ascertain your health compatibility. This would have afforded you the opportunity to know if you will continue in the marriage or not.

I understand your plight and the difficulty staying put in such marriage, but the truth is that you are married to this guy till death do the two of you part.

You vowed before God to love and cherish this guy in good health and in sickness. Do you think this vow is a child’s play? It has a spiritual seal and that is why you should not toy with it.

I do not know where it is stated that impotence and childlessness are good reasons for a partner to stay out of marriage. What if you are the one having this problem and your hubby decides to walk out, will you be happy? Definitely you will feel hurt.

Marriage is not centered only on good sex and having children, you can adopt if you think all hopes are lost. Beside there is nothing impossible with God, so I encourage you to consult God. Go to God and pour your heart to Him. This kind cannot go out except by fasting and prayers. If you sincerely take this situation to God surely you must sing a new song instead of groaning. Stay in your marriage and love your husband.

I wish you the best.