How do I re-unite with my ex-boyfriend?

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Dear Bro. Fuston,

I never knew I will miss my ex-boyfriend so much after what happened between us.

In fact, I blame my room-mate who introduced her boy friend’s friend who came in from Spain to me when she knows how far I love my ex-boyfriend and the hurdles we have passed through.

 

My room-mate convinced me that the guy from Spain was seriously searching for a wife and that she would have made the guy marry her if not for the simple reason that the guy and her boy friend are childhood friends. So she advised me to jilt my boy friend of two years, since he just graduated and is not ready to talk about marriage because he has not gotten a job.

I considered my age 28 years and background and jumped into the arms of the fool from Spain.

The guy was in the country for six weeks and I was secretly seeing him during this period because I never wanted my boy friend whom I love so much to know about this. But one of the days I went to see this guy in his hotel room with my telephone switched off, my guy went to my room in the hostel to look for me and met my room-mate who not only scolded him but insulted and told him to leave me alone because I had moved on with a more respectable and suitable man. That was the beginning of my trouble.

He confronted me with what my friend told him and I denied it, but when it was clear that he is aware of my affair with the Spain guy I warned him not to disturb me again with his poor tale of loving me. He tried to win me back but my mind was fixed on getting married, especially with a man I trust could affect my life positively.

To cut the long story short my whole dream fizzled out few months after the guy returned to his base in Spain. It is now seven months and not even for one second has he called me after all the huge promises he made to me. The worst being that he warned his friend, my room-mate’s boy friend not to give me his contact.

Reaching him is no longer my worry at present but how to reconcile and have back my ex-boy friend who never did any wrong to me.

I don’t even know how to approach him, and yet I desire to see his handsome face again and probably have his warm embrace.

I acknowledge to have made a grievous mistake which I was led into by my best friend. What I ask for now is how to correct this mistake and have my man back into my arms.

Adanma in Owerri

Dear Adanma,

You are only reaping the fruits of your labour. At 28, you should have known that all that glitter are not gold and so it will be out of place for you to put the blame on your room-mate who introduced the Spain guy to you.

You acted so stupidly when you quickly threw away or discarded the old broom, your boy friend for a new broom, the Spain guy. In sincerity, an old broom sweeps better because it gets to the edges and the corners of the house.

The decision to take you back is solely the guy’s own and so the best for you is to go to him on your knees begging. If he forgives and accepts you back ok! But one truth about this whole saga is that your attitude has created a big moral question of trust on him. If he finally accepts you, you may need to work hard to erase this feeling which is bound to be noticed in any one that has been a victim of deceit.

I am sure you now know the relevance of examining all that come asking you for a relationship. Earnestly beg your man and never allow yourself to be so cheaply used, be wise and try your best not to commit this type of blunder any more.

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