My fiancé is insecure

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Dear Bro Fuston,

 

I must admit that I love your column in Nigeria Newspoint. Thank you for making out time to offer your advice to people having relationship issues.

 

I have started having a re-think about going ahead to marry a man I had accepted his proposal.

 

I love him very much no doubt about it but there is a minus in his life which I don’t accept. He is very insecure with me.

 

There was a day he beat me up and lacerated my body for coming back late from work, because he felt I was hanging out with a male colleague when in actual fact I was busy in the office preparing with the relevant staff a proposal which a big client of my outfit requires to travel with as early as 6am the next day.

 

I had thought that sound reasoning with time will prevail but it is over three years we have been having this affair. Instead of this disgusting habit abating, it is only increasing by day.

 

I have done everything to prove my true love for him, but I have noticed that he has a mindset that shows that women generally are promiscuous and that any thing a man has with a woman must surely end in sex.

 

We have actually come a long way but I am gradually being pissed off by his shouting and constant bickering over what a man that trusts his girl will simple gloss over and sometime pity the lady.

 

I need your advice to help me know how to change him or the best direction for me to follow.

 

Ebira in Port Harcourt

 

 

 

Dear Ebira,

 

The choice to stay in this relationship or not is solely yours. You wear the shoes and you should know where it is pinching you.

 

If you think that you cannot contend with your man’s constant bickering and quarrels, then quit and get yourself a happy relationship but the question is: Where is that man or that woman who has no fault?

 

Since both of you love yourselves you need patience to understand each other.

 

Do not forget in a hurry that you are two different people, coming from different backgrounds and orientation.

 

I suggest that you take it easy with your man. Inform him early when there is need for you to stay longer than necessary at work or other places, if possible invite him over to your office or the place you are.

 

Building the trust he lacks will help change his wrong mindset that all a man has to do with a woman is sex!

 

It is not manly for a man to beat up a woman. I indeed condemn this act.

 

But I am sure all of that will cease when he starts seeing you as a trust-worthy person. Happy weekend.

 

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