Dear Bro Fuston,
I want to enquire from you if I can marry this guy who caused me so much pains last year.
We are from different villages in the same community and we knew ourselves December 2011 during our community football competition.
We met first in the last Christmas celebration when my village and his had a football match.
He came in from Jos where he lives and plies his trade, while I returned to the village from Owerri where I am schooling.
He requested that I should be his girl friend and I accepted because he appeared like a gentle man and an intelligent fellow.
I must acknowledge here that he is very generous and throughout the two weeks we stayed together in the village, he did not withhold anything from me, we paired harmoniously the whole of the festive period.
He claimed to have loved me more than any other woman and sincerely speaking I became enthralled by his charming looks and generous disposition.
It dawned on me that he is the wrong man after three weeks we left the village back to our stations and I discovered that I am pregnant for him. I had earlier called him on phone and informed him that I will go to the hospital to find out what was wrong with me, because I was feeling dizzy and sleepy at every point in time.
The doctor after quizzing me sent me for a pregnant test. When the test result came, it showed that I was pregnant. I called and informed him what the test read, but instead of helping me find a solution to the problem, he started scolding me and also denying that he is not responsible for the pregnancy. All efforts made to convince him to accept responsibility of the pregnancy proved abortive.
My parents knew about the ugly situation and warned me not to think of abortion since I have made the mistake already.
I bore the shame and pains for three months until I had what the doctors described as inevitable abortion.
This guy never cared nor showed any concern, my problem now is that the same guy now is seriously on my neck, begging me to marry him.
A pastor had told him that he impregnated a school girl and abandoned her to her fate and that he will find it difficult to marry and have a child if he refuses to beg and reconcile with that school girl. That is the reason why he has been disturbing me to forgive him and also accept to be his wife.
I loved him then, but because of this treatment he meted to me, I am finding it difficult to forgive him, let alone accept him as my husband.
He has since then be disturbing and begging my parents, siblings and friends to beg me to forgive him and now these people are persuading me to give him a second chance, thereby confusing me greatly. Please I want to get help from you concerning this issue.
Ego in Owerri
I am sure you must have learnt your lessons on how wrong it is for a woman to open her legs for a man that is not her husband.
The xmas fun comes with a whole lot of troubles and careless people easily fall into these troubles.
Sex is an exclusive preserve of a man and his wife, anything outside this goes against the wish of our creator. Lots of jingles on the radio and TV condemning this act are on, newspaper and magazine publications that speak against this act abound, there are journals and books that will guide young people on proper sex, but I will recommend one that is currently on sale, a very instructive and educative book written by Dr. Chisara Umezurike, a faithful Christian and a renowned Consultant Obstetrician and Gynecologist. The book is captioned IN PRAISE OF ABSTINENCE, look for it in good bookshops or contact me for it, if you actually need it.
The guy in question should be made to know that his act of abandoning you when you needed him most is wicked and unacceptable.
He portrayed himself a friend only in pleasure and not a friend when there is a problem.
His neglect, denial and careless attitude towards you is must condemnable.
However, we must learn to forgive sins committed against us as God enjoins us. It will not benefit you anything when you continue to keep malice with him. You should reconcile with him as demanded by God, because that will be a reason for God also to reconcile with you when you wrong Him.
As for marrying him, that you are going to decide, but in my opinion, I don’t see anything wrong in you marrying him, if he genuinely repents of his wrong doings towards you.
The Bible said that a man that goes into a harlot is joined with that harlot, this is talking about a man and a woman of easy virtue.
What is means is that a man that goes into a woman automatically is joined with that woman. The truth is that you have been joined with this guy in Jos because he has known you sexually.
Find out if he is mature enough to settle down and not because his pastor told him to go and reconcile with the school girl he abandoned after putting her in a family way. The maturity I mean here is inward maturity and not physical maturity. Be careful and Happy weekend.